Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Took the day off

I took the day off from work. I woke up late. I also woke up with a bad headache. Dh said take your migraine medicine. I said I can't. Even though it is a very very slim chance of being preggo, I am not taking that chance. So I stayed home today and literally slept the entire day. I didn't get up till 4pm!!!! I was exhausted. I don't know why. I am thinking it is because I lost so much blood over the weekend. We dtd on Sunday. It appears that I ovulated on Sunday. I am not sure how well it worked. Keeping my fingers crossed but prepared for AF to show up. I am still testing with Ovulation sticks. They are big fat negatives. So I guess no news is good news. Since I have not yet had a cycle, I guess I will test on Easter Sunday as that would be 14 days. Ok, I'm lying. I will start testing on the 19th. Who am I kidding. Remember big yellow sign announcing POAS addict should be hung around my neck.

Every twinge or cramp freaks me out. I pray pray pray that it worked but trying to prepare myself for disappointment. I am still spotting from the d&c, but I think dtd had caused that. I worry all the time.

My June 05 babies board is driving me crazy. I know that several that have gotten BFP are excited. However, everyday, several times a day talking about pregnancy. At one moment I think HELLO keep this in the pregnancy board and stop being so insensitive. Another I know that they are just excited. Hopefully, in a month I can announce to them. I often think how I will announce the next one. I mean I had the best idea with the cards and now that has been ruined. I can't use the same way. I think we will announce to immediate family only when we see/hear a heartbeat. Then to everyone else at like 15-20 weeks. I am thinking at the fourth of July family picnic.

I got one of my books in yesterday. I got Empty Cradle, Broken Heart. It has a lot of good information in it. It also makes me cry to read, but that is ok.

I think about when I'll be back in my ob's office for pregnancy. 8 weeks at the earliest which is mid May. I swear anyone that suggests I need to have my tubes tied, I WILL deck. I worry about that at the first appt. Dh will just have to come with me to hold me back or else.

Can I talk about my beautiful Sara Grace. That child is only 2 years old, but she is going to grow up into a wonderful person. She makes me laugh even though I am sad. She is so empathetic even at 2. She is one of the reasons I want another baby so bad. I want another one just like her. She has really pulled me out of some of our darkest days.

Oh and NY residents. How stupid is our Govenor. He is a complete idiot and deserves everything he gets. He goes after people citing THEIR moral values and look at him hooking up with a high priced hooker in DC. What a dumbass.

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