Saturday, November 24, 2007


Well we went to my aunt and uncle's house in PA out in the freaking boonies. The girls were great during the ride there and back. DH did not charge the dvd player. So no tv. They survived. S managed to entertain herself by drawing on the windows with her foot. Yes, she was very much strapped in to her carseat. She is just that limber. K slept most of the time or tried to antagonize her sister. Me, well I have a severe sinus infection. It sucks. I get them quite frequently in the winter. I went anyway to my aunt's house. It was so nice because I am from the south and I miss hearing the "southernisms". My uncle is a fabulous cook. The thing is my dh likes my aunt and uncle much better than his own family. So he really enjoys the trip to see them too!

We didn't stay the night as I am a major Black Friday shop a holic. Even while sick as a dog I went out. I was at Penneys at 4am. I had everything done by 12 noon. I only need to buy a gift card for my sister and a Smart Jump Trampoline for S. That will really contain her energy as that child loves to jump. I swear she has Tigger blood in her. Anyway, slept all afternoon and night yesterday and slept all day today. This was not getting any better. I was getting worse, running fevers. I KNOW I needed to get on an antibiotic today and some prednisone. Called the hospital to see if my dr is on call. No. Damn. I figured that another dr that doesn't know me from a hill of beans would not call an antibiotic and prednisone for me. So off to the ER and Fast track I went. I hate hate hate going to the ER. It was ok this time though as one of K's friend's dad was the PA (B) that treated me. He just came in and said S what kinda drugs you need. I said whatever yo will give me. He said JUST KIDDING. No, we went over what my dr normally does (it sucks that she has been closed since Wednesday!). He ordered it up for me. Ten days of Omnicef and 5 days of prednisone (high dose at that). After a dose of prednisone, I am feeling a tiny bit better. The prednisone was only $1.79 on the Walmart drug list. YEAH. Omnicef was $35.00. OWWW. Hopefully I can start to feeling better to go to work on Monday. Oh yeah and B said that if I had waited till Monday it would have been really really bad as it was already bad when I came in today. The Tylenol severe sinus was doing its job with keeping the fever down when I checked in, however, by the time B saw me, I had started to run a fever again. It was only 3 hours after taking it too. So he told me to go ahead and take another dose when I got home.

I think I will ovulate on Wednesday. I started taking ovulation predictor tests yesterday. Negative yesterday and today. I really think last month when I tested on a lark that I caught the end of the ovulation because there was a second line and it was almost as dark if not as dark as the control line. So at least I know there is ovulation.

Well off to bed soon.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Cycle day 1

Well we are now officially ttc! Today is cycle day 1. I am absolutely shocked that after coming off the BCP (which was taken for endo, irregular periods, constant bleeding), I went straight into a completely freaking normal cycle!!! No bleeding in between whatsoever. WTH? Hopefully since AF arrived as scheduled that ovulation will too. I have 35 ovulation test strips just to make sure and 9 pregnancy sticks. If this period follows like before S, then it will last 6-7 days. Ovulation should occur in about 13 days for me. YEAH. I kind of feel sick about getting pregnant again and the what ifs go through my head. I am desparately worried that something bad will happen. However, I have excellent drs. Between my pcp, obgyn, and peri, I am in great hands. Something new is that I will start pregnancy off with good bp on bp meds. So maybe that will give my placenta a chance.

The thing is my time is limited. The endo specialist has said you need to get pregnant and get pregnant immediately OR have a hysterectomy. Two docs have now recommended that. So guess how easy that decision is. I worry about work. I don't have a ton of leave. I have enough with a disability program to make it last a while. Basically about 3 months. I am going to get a note for the first trimester from my pcp restricting me traveling period. I travel a lot for my job, but I want to be close to home. With S, I was on a business trip for two weeks between 6-8 weeks and had two separate episodes of bleeding. The first time I tried to take it easy and it went away after a day. A week later, I had been taking it easy staying in bed and it had been a couple of days of bleeding. Since I was out of state, I called the 24 hr nurse line and she authorized me to go to the nearest ER. They determined I had a posterior fibroid (that is now suspected adenomyosis) that was close to the cervix causing the bleeding. The ER dr wanted to admit me for observation, but I begged him to go back to the hotel. I could not miss any part of a class I was taking and missing even an hour is cause to fail you. I had waited a year for this class. He let me go home on the condition that I did no lifting, walking, stair climbing. Go to class and put my feet up the entire time. Drink plenty of fluids. Go to bed and order food in when out of class. I could NOT wait to get on a plane to go home. So because I travel on day trips and for business trips frequently, I am getting a note stating no trips period outside of my work area. I feel pretty confident she will write it. I would ask from my ob and I probably will ask him to write one too. However, my boss knows which dr is my ob. She would suspect pregnancy. I don't want anyone to know until I HAVE to tell. They gave me such a hard time last time. I hated that.

I am also going to make use of the work from home program. My boss hates it. I did it successfully for 2 1/2 years before transferring into my current position (same office). I think she may be more open to it. It helps that not a single pregnant woman within my agency has been turned down for it which sets precedence. When discussing it, she has mentioned that she hates it but for me may let me do it. In fact, my work makes fun of a computer program that we used to upload stuff to the internet. I am the only one that knows the ins and outs of it. For some reason, I really like using it. Everyone else hates it. They can't figure it out without me standing on top of them instructing them. So they have been saying yeah when she gets pregnant (I have made no secret of my desire of another one, just when is the question), they say I can do bedXXXX. Get it, bedrest. So they took bed as the first part and then the last part of the program. I also am a manager of another program. I am the only one in my agency who has access to this program and runs it. No one else knows how. The best part of it is that 90% of it can be done from any internet location. I am going to have to work on a proposal for her so that I can get that approved. It will mean doing some of the crappy jobs, but hey I would be doing it from home, so how crappy would it really be? I have to show how it will benefit her. I bought a printer awhile ago that does, copying, scanning, faxing, printing. I set up wireless as well. My printer and laptop are wireless as well. She let me work from home on OT this summer. So, I think I can get her to be on my side, I just have to figure out how I can make it look really really good for her. I do know that when I tell that I am pregnant, I am going to take her aside and say that I still want to be a productive person and willing to do whatever. She won't be able to get away with me taking several months off because of that one program I do that no one else knows how to do. So I would be willing to work part-time on that, if she would be willing to allow me to telework if I need to go on bedrest. She is getting to retire Jan 1st 2009, so maybe since she is leaving, she may have a bit of softening to her.

My boss knows about my gyn issues. She has had some as well (endo - she completely understood me taking time off for this and shoved me out the door when I was in to much pain to work, uterine cancer, etc). She also knows my time is limited. I have not mentioned to her that I was told to get pregnant and as quick as possible from 2 drs. I did tell her about the hysterectomy options. I kind of wanted to know what that was like from someone that had one. I hope that maybe she will see it as it was get pregnant now or have hysterectomy too and maybe will have her a bit more sympathetic than she was last time. I do know that she and the assistant chief are going to be pissed about negotations as I have gained a reputation as a good negotiator. I had contractors calling a couple of weeks ago because I stepped in for a coworkers negotiations. She was out of town and I stepped in. Apparently, the contractors and our project team were stunned with it. I was shocked when I heard about it. For once everyone was applauding for me being a ball buster as they put it. The contractor was trying to pull one over on us and I called them on it and then told them how the situation was going to be resolved. So the the contractor's president called the acting chief and asked how our negotiations process worked with the different negotiators? Then he asked if I was going to be on any other negotiations. LMAO when he told me. I guess that impressed the heck out of my bosses. Contractor was not happy that I would be in on future negotiations. Wait till they find out that I have been assigned as the negotiator for their new $50 million dollar project. He he he he. After these knuckleheads called, the assistant chief came over to tell me of the conversation. He said since I was such a ball buster with them that he wanted me to oversee the negotiations on their new project. He needed someone that would make the contractor tow the line and keep costs in line and the project team in line. Before, we had someone in there that basically slept through negotiations. Ever since then the assistant chief has been assigning me the tough negotiations. However, my boss (the chief) has caught wind of this and is making him start to reassign work to the other girl because she needs the experience (she has to stay awake first!). So I do bring something to the table. Oh and I have project teams wanting me on their negotiations because of what they saw in that one. I can be fair and stuff, but when I see you intentionally screwing around with us, I will not let you get away with it. This contractor put something along the lines of his proposal that the costs were too much work to document, so he was just going to charge it to us. My response when questioning them and finding this out was if it is too much to document, then it is too much work for us to pay it. Document the expenses or you don't get paid. The project manager was going to LET THEM get away with it. He started with umm, we might have a problem with this line item. WHAT? No on something like this you tell them straight. At that point I took over the negotiations (the only reason I let him lead was because I was sitting in. The new project I will lead all negotiations period. Project managers do not lead my negotiations. They are there for technical advice only) and said no it's not might, we DO have a problem with this line item. Then I finished it up with the above. The contractor was so caught off guard he had no idea what to say. Pretty much people had been letting them do what they want. So wait till they get a taste of it on the new contract. They will be justifying each and every expense. I was astounded at how much they were getting away with. Where were the people who should have been opening their mouths about this? So anyway, got off the subject here.

Pain has been very bad for the last couple of days and today. At least AF is here now and Iknow that eventually there will be an end for this in a couple of days. God willing, I won't have to do it again for 9 months. I think I may throw up when I get the BFP. I mean at least this time I have a slew of specialists. It's just I can't help it. I know when I call the OBGYN's office and say hi I would like to make an appt with Dr. E. Are you a current patient? Yes. What is the appt for? Pregnancy. Then I know I will be the talk of the office. No one that was there when I was pregnant has forgotten me. My file for me being there for the last 3 1/2 years (it does include my prior records) is TWO INCHES thick!!!

The good news I can look forward to 4d US, my hospital just got this. I think a high risk pe pregnancy would warrant one of these! My peri has a Starbucks next door to her!!!!!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Another appt with the specialist

Hmm, not sure what to make of it. Anyway, had an appt with the endo specialist today for trigger point injections. Can I say OWWWWWW. Ok, NO ONE warned me about a big needle and an enormous syringe! All I could think was hey I have been through much worse. He asked me where dh was and I said I told him to wait in the waiting room cause he would freak when he saw those needles. The dr said that he has asked dh's if they are ok with needles only to faint on the floor, so it was good that dh chose to sit this one out, lol. I told him I got over my fear of needles by desensitizing myself when I had pe. When they come and poke you every hour for mag levels and platelets, and liver enzymes, you get over that needle fear quick. It's funny how bad I used to be. I used to pass out at the sight of them and I am a champ at them now.

He injected the first one and I let out a yelp. He said hey don't yell, you'll scare all my other patients away. Then he says just kidding! You did great. Most of my patients freak out and scream when they have the first one done. Seeing you didn't know what to expect, you really did great. I said well my pcp says I have a high pain tolerance, but I don't believe her. She said that because of my knee being torn up for so long and me saying well it hurts. She said most people would have been bawling their eyes out. My ortho said the same thing when he saw me walking without crutches a week after major knee surgery. I still don't believe them and think I am the biggest wimp I know. My endo specialist agreed with my pcp and ortho. We did the next two shots. They hurt but not as bad as the first one. He said if the pain stays away for more than 24 hours, it is myofascial pain. More trigger shots and PT will help fix it. If it lasts less than 24 hours, then it is endo and I should get pregnant immediately.

Hmm, last time he told me it wasn't a good idea. This time he is telling me that it is the best idea. Oh and he recommends hysterectomy after the baby is born. He said I should wait and put some time between delivering and having it done 4-6months because it is major surgery. However, he says that is for me and the surgeon to discuss. He said I can stay close to home and have my obgyn do it. Or he can do it and do it laproscopically. I don't know who should do it. He told me that my current obgyn is more than qualified. It would definitely be covered under insurance. I don't think he would get the endo out. Plus I have the little issue where he failed to tell me about the scarring on the operative report. If the specialist does it, it is out of network. I will probably have to pay alot. I am sure my insurance company will deny a hysterectomy out of network when there are tons of docs to do it. He said the biggest issue that I face because I am so young (who thought 33/34 would be so young??) is whether to keep the ovaries. If I keep the ovaries, it can feed the endo and make it worse. So only half the problem is solved. If I get rid of the ovaries, then I will go immediately into menopause. He said I would have to be on HRT therapy till I am 50!!!! Can I just get rid of one of my ovaries? Preferably the right one please. How about half ovarian function? Does it even work that way? He said I have an awful lot to think about and decide on. However there is time to do this. I never ever thought in a million years that I would be getting a hysterectomy. However, it needs to go after the next baby.

What I would really like to do is go to Oregon and see Dr. Redwine and Dr. Mosbrucker. Maybe after the hysterectomy and maybe for a lap. Any obgyn can do the hysterectomy. But not any surgeon can do a lap for endo. Even though I know it is right and what needs to be done and say I want this done. I think I may not be as emotionally prepared for it. I mean I have what a year to prepare? Some reason I think I am going to be devestated emotionally by it. I wish that I could reach out to other young women that have done this at my age. I don't even know why I will be upset. I just know that I will be. It just doesn't seem right to have all those problems pregnant and then this too. I think I am going to do some more research.

So how did the trigger shots work? They worked fabulous for two areas. However, the one area (the first one he hit) HURTS LIKE HELL right now. After the anesthetic wore off after about 4 hours, it hurt worse. So that one spot is endo. Right now I am still scheduled at the end of December for another round. Oh and the pregnant thing, waiting for the next round which should be in about 2 weeks. Pray we catch the egg!

Saturday, November 3, 2007

USC Beach Fire Victims

Please keep the families of the 7 students that died in the beach house fire from the University of SC and Clemson in your thoughts. It's a terrible tragedy. Anyone that knows me in real life knows that the University of SC is near and dear to me. I am an alumna of USC and can remember many times when friends and I would take off for a weekend at the beach. Something that has happened millions of times with millions of USC and Clemson students turned tragic for these students. To read the story, click this link -

While USC and Clemson have over a hundred years of rivalry between them, it has warmed my heart to see how both universities have come together in this tragedy. I really liked that there were 6 garnet wreaths in front of the Russell House and in the center was the lone purple and orange one for the Clemson student. Both universities are holding memorial services for all the students lost. We might fight like crazy in our rivalries, however, when it comes to it South Carolinians stick together.

The families, survivors, and the universities communities have a long road ahead.