Thursday, October 30, 2008


Hooray I was right. I totally slamdunked that 3hr GTT test. They should have just let me do the 1hr. All that torture for NOTHING. I even drank dr pepper the day before (caffiene for the headache) and eggnog that night (don't knock it and it was what I was craving). I gained 7lbs in 2 weeks!!!! WTH! No it is not from the eggnog. I didn't start that till a couple of days ago and I had already gained 5 by the time of my pcp appt. My ob said not to worry, now is the time for rapid growth. Easy for him to say. He isn't weighing an extra 7 lbs. I am measuring ok. He said don't worry about that. The baby's position affects a lot of that. (No ONE realizes I am pregnant. I mean I know I am overweight, but not one person realizes it. :() Even a friend of mine that I had not seen in 2 months said nope. Told him I had been worrying for 2 weeks about that. He said I measure right on at 25 weeks. Doesn't the flab get in the way of that? I mean if you are overweight, wouldn't you have a few extra centimeters? He said that this baby is very high up. He said that if they stand alot, it makes you a lot smaller. Ok I go for the standing up. Because this baby likes to jam her head into my ribs (trust me, you don't mistake that for feet) and her feet kick my cervix and bladder. I have an US in 3 weeks. So one of the first things I plan on asking. That and how much does she weigh?

He was pleased that my bp came down. He said that there were a couple of 90s but he was not too worried about it. I guess because it is not consistent. Told him my pcp freaked out on Monday because my bp was 148/92. She said he might add in another med. He said probably aldomet. I said well she said probably procardia. He said yep he could do that too. Aldomet doesn't do jack for me. I guess the procardia would be good for the BH. So as far as bp, keep doing what I am doing because it is working for me. He said continue working at home fulltime. I told him I had been hanging out on the couch. It goes up when I go grocery shopping, etc. So keep doing what I have been doing. Means me and my couch get to be friends.

See ya in 2 weeks. So I have been on biweekly appts since 20 weeks 6 days. Wondering when weekly ones will start. I am guessing 28-30 weeks.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

24 Weeks and Viable

Finally, Viability. It feels like a huge milestone has been hit. So I have been on WAH for a week now. It is really really nice. I am able to work around my appts (which are going to be picking up big time in a few more weeks) when I need to. I am able to take an hour for lunch and rest and extend my work time out. I sleep at least an hour later every day since I am not commuting. I havn't filled my gas tank in a week and I am at 3/4 of a tank! My bps have done exactly what my ob hoped and have come down. They are still running higher than before, but more in the 120-130s/80s range. The BH I still have, but not as bad or as often as before. It seems like if I hang out on the couch and at home and take it easy, everything is behaving. I have lost my rings. My hands keep swelling and my dh said take them off before they have to be cutoff. So off they came. The first few days I felt naked without them. I kind of miss them.

Took Kirsten to HSM 3 last night. To be 9 again, lol. I am sure I would have loved this movie if I was 9. It just didn't do it for me, lol. While we were waiting in line, sure enough BH started up and didn't stop till halfway through the movie. Then I have had a headache off and on for the last few days. Today it was REALLY bad. I was like is this a migraine, is it a pe headache, what's going on. Then I realized the baby hadn't moved all day and started freaking. So took a fiorinal to knock out the headache after I checked my bp. No protein and bp was ok. This was a migraine. Drank a glass of OJ. Got the doppler out. Found her heartbeat right away and it was 142-145. Then tonight she decided to make her presence known for quite a while. So all was well. Hopefully just a sleepy baby today. She totally freaks me out at times because she is not nearly as active as Kirsten and Sara. I will definitely have to do kick counts with this baby.

Just let everyone know I am ok. Just hanging out and keeping quiet. I know don't laugh! Turned in my note for full time WAH. My poor new boss didn't know how to take it. He said well I guess I don't have a choice do I? I said well either leave or WAH but we are NOT loosing another baby again. So he allowed me to do WAH. He did ask me when I would be back? I said May. LOL. The hardest thing about that is eliminating distractions and getting into a schedule. I seem to be adjusting well. One of the 12's that was coming in decided not to come in. The third person on the list is not qualified! New boss said he is going to readvertise. Guess who is without a doubt eligible now? ME. I got my step increase as of last week. So I am definitely qualified. The best part is they can't eliminate me because of being pregnant. Works for me. So I am going to apply for it and see what happens.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

22 week 6 day OB appt and ER FU

Well first off good news and bad news. Bad news my bp sucks right now. I have hit 100 diastolic a couple of times and my ob was not happy with my pressures. They have been mostly in the 90s diastolic with a few normal ones. He was not sure if it had to do with the infection I had over the weekend or if they were up. I told him my pressures were labile the week before and that usually means it is only a matter of time. (wow did I say that???). He didn't say anything. I think I kind of shocked him a bit on that one. He said he could increase the meds, but really did not want to do that at this point. I agree with this. I said I can work from home full time with a medical note or go out on leave. He left the choice to me. I chose work at home full time. This way I can work on the couch and keep my feet up (did that today and stayed on the couch and bp was 120/88). Why use up all of my leave now. The less leave I use, the more time after baby is born I have. :) I like that he is giving me a voice. It makes me feel like I have some control in a disease that is uncontrollable. I have to admit I am very worried about this little one. I know that preeclampsia can turn in hours/minutes. So I wonder how long I have. This week I started having trace protein and I had trace protein in the office. I will be doing a 24 hr urine early next week. I'm waiting for the Augmentin to stop killing my stomach.

Other news, baby is very high up. Even my ob said so. He went to measure my stomach and I said she is high up and he said yes she is. Her heartbeat was great. So everything with baby is ok. Oh and with my bp, he said he expects that they will start dropping soon. If they don't drop or if they go even higher like hitting a 100 like they did on Saturday, I am to call. It seems as long as I stay couch bound, I am ok. Up moving and cleaning, and up they go. :( I'm sure my boss will freak tomorrow. Don't care anymore. If he gives me crap, then I am heading straight to EEO. Called old boss this morning and she about died when I told her. I mean if she can do full time WAH for retirement, I can do it for medical. My ob wrote for pregnancy induced hypertension. YIKES. Oh and it looks like I am on biweekly appts starting now. He told me to keep my next appt. He was going to go 4 weeks and then he said no. See you in 2. WOW. I am getting closer. I am trying to wrap my brain around having a new baby in a few months. She better still be a girl!!!

Oh and my inlaws. Ugggh, they just don't understand. Saw the urologist on Tuesday. Keep doing what I am doing. I did all of the right things this weekend. Drink lots of fluids and keep taking cranberry supplements. If I get pain, go immediately to the ER to rule out a blockage. I complained that they are going to know me on a first name basis in the ER. She said I could go a hundred times and everything is fine. If it is the one time that I went. Well. You know. This time I had some funky bacteria that was resistant to everything. I found out if I had had a fever, I would have been admitted. Scary stuff. So I am glad that I went. My inlaws think I am being a big baby about this. Maybe. My mil said I had gone to the ER too much. However, there is no way to tell if it there is a blockage from the stone unless I go and get a renal US. My ob and urologist have told me to go! What if I had not of gone this weekend? What if we lost another baby to a severe infection? It's bad enough I had to have iv antibiotics and 875mg Augmentin 2 xs a day. They don't give that for a cold. So I have to ignore them and just do what the drs that went to med school say. WHO really cares for what mil says. Oh yeah, she is going on and on about her knee surgery coming up and how she will be an invalid. I had knee surgery and was up and around THAT day a few hours after surgery. Mine was pretty invasive. I was walking without crutches in a week (which gave my orthopedist a heart attack and having him ask me nicely to please use them for another oh 6-8 weeks). So I just have to ignore her.

So keep the prayers coming.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Work Rant

So I called old boss today to let her know what is going on. She has decided to go on retirement at work mode. She is going on fulltime wah. Honestly, I don't blame her one bit. She tells me today that our new boss, who doesn't know anything. Who's ass I saved 30 September from a huge huge screwup. Who just bows down to everything is now Employee of the Month. WTF. WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF. Are you kidding me? You have to be freaking kidding me. How the hell can someone who is in TRAINING get employee of the month? Please explain this to me. Oh wait, it's the good old boy network.

I can't wait to see what he got it for. My guess is it is for a huge project that we did for another agency. But wait let's see. I AM THE ONE THAT WROTE THE MASTER CONTRACT, SET THEM UP, AND DID ALL THE NOTICES AND ANSWERED ALL OF THE QUESTIONS. Yeah me. I set up the master contract for them to ALL COPY FROM. All they had to do was copy the format and the clauses that I RESEARCHED (old boss researched clauses too). It was MY BUTT THAT STAYED LATE ON FRIDAY NIGHTS TO ENSURE THAT THE WORK GOT OUT AND CORRECTED HIS MISTAKES. His ass sat at home on the weekends.

Yeah me. I saved his ass on the last day of the fiscal year. See I couldn't figure out why in the world the company was not in our financial system. I mean if he had obligated the contract and I awarded mine after his (had to delay mine a bit due to an issue with the pm giving me the wrong electronic file). His should have been there. It really bothered me. So I went and started poking around. I discovered that he never obligated the contract (this wasn't the first one that this had happened on). I toyed with the idea of not saying anything. Not say anything and we just lost over a million dollars and would have made him look really bad. Say something and he can obligate it in time and the money was safe. Yeah an over a million dollar mistake. So I said something. I would hope that if I made a mistake, someone would have fixed it for me. So I told him and he got it obligated in the nick of time. He never even wondered why it wasn't there but I did. My old boss agreed with this. Everyone in the office is pissed. Royally pissed. The purchasing agent is pissed because she feels she did so much. Ummm, not unless you count her many coffee breaks. The other specialist is pissed because she knows I did the work behind the scenes for these contracts and the accolades are going to the wrong person. I am pissed because I have been there for 8 years. I have cleaned up that crap that people have done, issued things emergently, found problems and fixed them without anyone telling me too, and all at a lesser pay grade. No one in 8 years has ever put me up for employee of the month. Yeah, I am pissed.

I said you know what. A) I am glad that I won't be there to see it tomorrow. B) I would have walked out of the ceremony C) I am done. It seems that no matter how much you give, do, bust your tail, it is not appreciated. I am waiting for a position to open, same grade level or higher anywhere but here. Seeing that my bp sucks and I have this kidney infection, I am going to see about going out on full time wah as soon as possible. If I am given problems with it (seeing we now have interns on an alternate work schedule, old boss is on fulltime wah for convenience sake, etc), I will file a huge pregnancy discrimination complaint. I have decided I am done. I'll try and wah for as long as my ob will let me. Then I am taking a nice long maternity leave. They can all kiss my ass. That's just how I feel right now. It was the biggest slap in the face to give someone who has been there for 2 months employee of the month who didn't even know how to do the work. So kiss my ass agency. Hopefully I can get picked up somewhere else soon.

What a weekend!!!

So last you guys heard I had been in the ER Thursday night/Friday morning because of kidney stone flareup. WRONG. Yesterday morning I got a call saying that my beautiful clean urine on the strip grew something in the lab. I can't remember the name of it, but it didn't sound good. She asked if they put me on antibiotics. Um no. She said the ER dr wanted to call in Bactrim, but that hasn't worked in the past for me. I couldn't remember the antibiotic that my ob put me on before. I told the nurse that I had to call my ob's office in the morning first thing, I could find out what it is and have them call it in for me. So even though I didn't have "the traditional UTI symptoms" (do I ever), I still had bad back, flank and stomach pain. I felt blah and literally slept the weekend away. Sunday night, all of a sudden I got sick. Nausea, bad nausea. I took Reglan and pepcid and it did not help. I felt like I had the flu. It dawned on me, that these were the symptoms the urologist gave me to get my hiney back to the ER. Since I am one of those that gets a kidney infection and blows it off till it is really bad.

So back to the ER. They were ready for me, HOORAY. Labs pulled from Friday morning and everything. Then I saw who the dr was. I thought, oh no. She was the one that told me that I did not look like I had a kidney stone in June because I did look like I was in enough pain. Great. Except one thing. She's pregnant too and due the same day as me! Go figure. So she says I know you. I said yeah kidney stone in June that two urologists say needs surgery to come out. Viola pain meds ordered, Thank God because I was really hurting by that point. I think she remembered she told me that I did not look in that much pain and was like oh crap, she really did have a stone. She was ms excellent doc. She ordered an iv right away and iv antibiotics. It was clear this was now a kidney infection and I am guessing serious at that. Seeing I had the urine run on Thursday night and it is now 3 nights later and I was on no antibiotics. I was there seriously trying to hold my puke back. I was more worried about getting zofran than a pain med cause I hate puking. That's what I asked for. lol. So iv started. Antibiotics hung (it was antibiotic night last night as several of us were getting them, Friday morning was pain med night).

So they reran labs, reran my urine culture, got the zofran, nubain, antibiotics, and another bag of fluids, which made me pee constantly (finally peeing again). They called my urologist who called me this morning and made room into the schedule for me tomorrow. They also called my ob (wasn't sure why as this was a medical problem). I heard her keep telling him that I had cultured out urine from 3 days ago. Yes my urine was clean on the strip but I was presenting with kidney infection symptoms (uh yeah, she did the pound on the back thing and it hurt like hell). She told him I was not running a fever. She came back and said that my ob gave the ok for me to be released. Still confused about that one. I feel terrible that she called him at home and woke him up at 1am. I said you called him at 1am and woke him up? She said yep. I said oh I feel terrible. She said oh well he'll get over it. Yikes. Glad I am not a dr. I was released on drink lots of fluids and 875mg of Augmentin 2 x's a day for 10 days. YIKES. That's a lot of antibiotics. Secretly I am relieved and glad they prescribed all of those antibiotics. We lost a baby to a kidney infection that was severe. I just can't do that again. I have been worried sick about this baby because of it. They assure me this will take care of it. I didn't even have to say that we lost a baby to this before. They just ordered it all up. Thank goodness.

So I came home and crashed and slept and slept. At 1030 am my urologist called. I have to be in their office at 10 am tomorrow morning. They asked me when I could come in and penciled me in. I called my ob's office and made an appt because my ob said I was to be in the office this week. I wasn't expecting to be in there till 30 October. So I have an appt on Thursday. Oh and did I mention my bp SUCKS EGGS. Yeah, I faxed those in. Hope I get no calls tomorrow to get my hiney down there. I just have been hanging out on my left side. This afternoon was 136/96, then 125/90 after a relaxing warm bath tonight.

Oh and if I start running a fever, I have to go back to the ER immediately again. Fabulous. I'm starting to get to know the crew.

Saturday, October 11, 2008


So my bp was up all day yesterday! 140/101; 139/101; 137/97. YIKES. This was after being in bed all day because I didn't get home from the ER till 5am. So I decided to stay flat and take it easy this weekend. Me, the couch and Netflix have a date for this weekend. Today, my bp was 127/89; 112/81. So MUCH MUCH better. I am not comfortable with the above readings. I am going to wait and send them in on Monday morning. I am going to call the nurse line and fax the readings and let him see where they are at. At this point, I am not sure what to make of these readings. I am thinking I just need to rest more. That is almost impossible when I work 3 days a week in the city. At least when I work from home, I can keep my feet up. I can't do that in Buffalo. No protein today so that is good. I feel like I am super nerd. I have to test my urine each day. I don't know if I am being proactive or bordering on obsessive. Probably a little of both. I just don't want it to sneak up on me. I start my 24 hr urine test tomorrow. What fun. I get to collect my pee for 24 hours.

Did you know it is possible for a kidney stone to present on the opposite side of where it is? I did a little research into it when my boss said the same thing happened to her. It's pretty rare, but it DOES happen. One study I found had a review of 643 cases. Out of those cases, THREE presented on the other side. I really want to get into my pcp and discuss this. However, I read in the paper today that she was in a major car accident on Thursday. Please pray that she is ok. The paper said she crossed the center line, hit a utility pole, rolled over twice, and came to a rest on top of the wheels 150 ft away from where she struck the pole. It said she had to be cut out of the car. How scary for her. I have been worried about her because she has been so worn out lately. I could tell when we go in that she was exhausted. New baby, did not take time off from work after having baby, working insane hours, and yucky Aldomet. Hopefully, she'll take care of herself now. The paper said she was lifeflighted and treated and released. She is probably mortified she made the paper. It was kind of hard to miss the article as right next to it was a picture of my baby girl. Sara made the paper too. Her daycare had firefighter day and Sara was right in the center of the pic with the firefighter. She has been going around saying stop, drop, and roll. So she got it.

Mil and Fil offered to take the girls overnight. We said GO AHEAD. So no kiddos tonight. Wil take it easy though.

Friday, October 10, 2008

More troubles.....

So last night I was doing ok. Had some BH when I went and took Kirsten to cheer comp. Then I had this AWFUL pain on the left side. It went from my back around my side and to the front and it came in WAVES. I remember thinking hmmm this reminds me of my kidney stone. However, that is on the RIGHT side. It was so bad I could barely even move for an hour and a half. What threw me off was that I had BH too!!! WTH. It finally eased up at 1030 but was still bad. Tried Tylenol, heating pad, laying down. Dh wanted to call an ambulance. I told him NO FREAKING WAY. At 1030, spoke with a friend of mine who is a nurse. She gave me my kick in the butt to reality. She said they knew what they were getting into with medicine. It was time for me to call. I hated doing it, but I did. It was like 1115pm by this point. My poor ob must have been asleep or something. Cause after going over everything, he asked what time was it. I immediately apologized and said I am so sorry it is very late it is 1115. He said no no no no, no it is ok. I just wanted to know how long this had been going on. So finally I said I am going to the Er. He said if it was nothing they would send me home. Of course, when I got there, the only time in a rural hospital, I would show up when 3 ambulances had just rolled in. So into the waiting room I waited till they got those people settled.

Get called back and my bp was 134/94. Pulse was 114. YIKES. The dr made it in before the nurse. As soon as they heard I had a history of kidney stones, in went a liter of fluids FAST. They offered me pain meds but I declined because I could feel the baby kicking. It just bothered me taking it when I could feel her, kwim. Then they came back in and said I was getting a renal US. That was it. I caved and they gave me Nubain. Which helped with the pain, but made me very sick to my stomach. So they did the US. Came back and said my US has not changed since June. They were not sure why it started on the left or what was going on. Everything was ok with me and baby. Released me on tylenol 3 which I did not fill, makes me puke plus not enough pain for that now. No protein in urine. They took my bp again, 147/94!!!!! TOO HIGH. Came home called my boss and called out. She said with her stones, sometimes the pain would be on the opposite side. YIKES. Off to bed I went. I did not getup till 2 today. Checked bp and it was 140/101. Even more yikes. Stayed on couch till I went to get Kirsten and Sara. Checked this evening 139/101. DOUBLE YIKES. Means that my bp is now higher. I didn't call my ob yet because for now all that can be done is to stay on my left side and rest. Pharmacy is not open yet.

I have to take Sara to dance tomorrow morning and fu with my pcp from the ER. Then Netflix, the couch, and I have a date. If it is still high, I guess I will be calling. THIS TOTALLY SUCKS. Twice in one freaking weekend.

Sunday, October 5, 2008


I have been reflecting a lot in the last few days and doing what I need to do to get everyone ready. I was surprised that my inlaws did not run away screaming and that my mil actually feigned interest in what was going on. SHOCK. I told her that they said I will get sick. That they will be watching me intensively at 28 weeks and beyond. That I will have to be on mag at delivery. She asked what mag was. I told her it's a drug given by IV to stop and prevent seizures. I will be on it at delivery and for 48 hours afterwards. Hmm, guess I won't be leaving 36 hours after delivery this time huh? I think I freaked her out when I told her it was a drug that prevented seizures. They were not there when Kirsten was born. No one was. I am trying very hard to keep my anxieties in check, but not a lot of people understand. I have been emailing back and forth with another girl 8 weeks ahead of me who is already on bedest. We have been commiserating.

I keep thinking about my appts that I had. My peri was so dead set that I was going to get PE and I know she is right. She has been doing this for over 25 years. The plan that she has laid out for me ob is quite intensive and strict. I keep thinking about my ob appt. My ob has always been an optimistic guy for the entire time that I have seen him. I don't know, maybe he had a bad day. For once, he was not optimistic and he was dead serious too. Through severe pih with Sara. He was like this is ok. Through the staff freaking out over my bps when she was born. He never ever let me see him freak even when I was and others were. He did tell me after she was born how worried he was. I remember thinking, funny he never showed it. Even when I had the MC he was optimistic. You can try again. This isn't the end of the world. You can pick up the peices and go on. It wasn't my fault (somehow no one will ever be able to convince me of that, if I had only done a million different things, maybe things would have been different). Even at the beginning of this pregnancy (or maybe it was Peyton's), I asked what he thought about me getting pe and delivering early again? He said some women he thought he needed to deliver but they surprised him. This time there was none of that. Just that I was very high risk for pe again (I guess that is better than Dr. W's assessment right?).

Not this time. This time he came in with a very serious face and said Well. No it's a happy go lucky world today or anything like that. He knew that I knew. I know way more than the average patient on PE. I can walk you through the labs needed, what they mean, what they check for, what the levels should be. I don't have to consult a book or notes for that. I can look at the US and realize instantly that something was not right. I knew it that day at Dr. W's office. The tech kept trying to reassure me and said you know maybe I don't have the right artery. I told her I knew. I knew it meant that I was now even more high risk for pe (at the time I didn't realize that it jumped to 75-85% based on US alone). I knew that the placenta is not getting enough blood. I do know that it was unilateral and not bilateral. Bilateral is like the kiss of death and means a very early very premature delivery. The sound that the doppler US makes is pretty unique. I realized I had been hearing it on a doppler at home for weeks now (since I got the thing). At the time, I worried that maybe that it was the baby's hb I was hearing that was skipping like that. But it was too slow, so I put it out of my mind. Until the day of the US at the peri's when I heard that unmistakable sound again. It's like a heart skipping a beat or something when you hear it. I did tell my ob that I found it odd that Dr. W didn't even have to explain what it meant because I already knew. We just went over the gameplan and the plusses and minuses. Plusses - it's unilateral, not bilateral. You have great doctors and she seems to think I can get to 35 weeks. Baby is doing well for now. Minuses - bad ob history, notching, etc means pe. Hopefully it won't be as severe. I have this terrible terrible feeling that this baby might possibly be stillborn. Maybe if we hadn't of had a 2nd trimester mc I would feel different. I already know that bad things happen to good people. If I had the unfortunate experience of a 2nd trimester mc to infection, Severe pe and Severe pih well why not me. It happened once, it could very well happen again.

Like I said, what got me was the ummm Well. How else do you deliver bad news? I said you got Dr. W's report. That was all the intro he needed. I bet money he poured over my records from Kirsten again. Too bad they are all in french. You can get an idea of what happened. I have decided that if I am as sick as I was with Kirsten, I do not want to be induced. Just take the baby by csection. I do not want to go through as much as I went through with her. Quite frankly after discussing it with several military drs, the consensus was they would have done an emergency csection at midnight and worried about the transfusing later. I've had two vaginal births. So I am ok with it. A question for later at my next appt. I just can't get over how serious he was. I wonder if possibly another mom that had to have the emergency surgery on that day, I wondered if it was because he had to give the news there was no heartbeat as well.

So maybe things will look up at the next appt. Maybe it wasn't that my stuff wasn't all that bad and he just had a bad day. The good news is that they are watching me carefully. Baby will be here in January which means I can open the windows when I burn up from the mag.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

20 week appt and BIG WHINE POST AHEAD

Feel free to skip this post. I had my 20 week ob appt and my ob agrees with my peri. Except he changed it to I am very high risk for pe instead of you will get sick like my peri said. He's an optimist. Guess that's why I like him as a doc. My peri recommended in her report that I get the pe labs done for the second trimester. I have to do a 24 hour urine this week (FUN). Oh and she slipped in a 3 hour GTT and did NOT tell me about it. Neither did my ob till he brought me my lab slips. I actually said oh man are you kidding me? I have NEVER been diabetic! It's the one thing that is good. I have to sit at the lab for the WHOLE three hours. I always almost pass out from just the regular one hour one and it makes me sick as a dog!!!! He said he was afraid that yes I have to do it but I can take my new wireless laptop to the lab with me. I said they don't have wireless. Grrr. Basically I have to stay on top of my bps. If they go over 95, I have to call about it. My peri recommended bp surveillence in the office, however he said that I know about bps and was really good about keeping an eye on them and that he is ok with letting me do that at home. I was to CALL if they are over 95 (do go ahead and kick me in the butt if I need it guys). He said there are some patients that he worried about, but I was not one of them (he would have hated me as a patient when I was pregnant with Kirsten). He said the uterine doppler was for pe and not pe and pih. So basically means pe. I asked how long he keeps people on mag and he said 48 hours after delivery. I told him fine as long as he gives me zofran for the puking (I puked the entire time while on it with Kirsten). I told him I figured I wasn't getting out of mag anyway after he got Kirsten's records based on his reaction to them. I asked him if I was on mag did I have to go to the ICU like with Kirsten (well it was an ICU room on L&D). He said no not unless I have bad hemodynamic changes? I'm guessing that means crappy bloodwork. He can't tell me if it will be as bad as it was with Kirsten. He went over what the peri told me. She'll see me at 28 weeks, then every two weeks till 32 weeks and then weekly till delivery. Her goal was 35 weeks. I'll be doing non stress tests each week in the peri's office as well. At the peri visits, she'll be doing the growth USs, doppler blood flow studies, NSTs, and BPPs. Of course the obligatory bp check. As far as all of these braxton hicks contractions I keep having. As long as they are not in a pattern or don't hurt they are ok. Just get off my feet when I have them. I am to call if they are continuing on rest, they hurt, or have a pattern to them. We talked about leave and they know I have enough leave to go out whenever I need to. So that was it. See you in 4 weeks. Ugh, 3 hour GTT will be in 4 weeks and they only do it during the week. Not a happy camper! I'm glad they are being proactive and aggressive, but I just have to say it stinks. I am thinking it is not really fair either. It is what it is and it would be worse to not have drs watching me and everything. It just stinks.

I am going to hate hearing from certain people I told you so. Because SOME people in my family will LOVE to rub it in and say see I told you so. I'm sorry, NO ONE deserves pe ever. I have so many thoughts. I mean I have kind of made my peace with PE. It's just the way it is for me and my body. My body HATES pregnancy. I am just not one of those lucky people that have the carefree pregnancy.

I have made my peace with mag. I hate mag. It is a necessary evil. Yes it is awful. BUT, it will save your life. So as awful as it is you just have to deal with 2 awful days of it and then you feel much better afterwards. I mean how can you not when it makes you feel so bad.

I just worry about A) me being ok B) Baby being ok and not in the NICU C) my dh and girls. When I had severe pe before, it was really really bad. It was just me and dh. We didn't have kids then. I just don't want to hear I told you so from anyone. I don't think there was ANYTHING wrong with trying for another child even with my history. Because before even getting pregnant, my chances were 25-40% for pe again. That means 60-75% chance for everything to be ok. Those are good odds. I just drew the unlucky straw.

The good news is that I have good drs this time. They are all over this like white on rice. I know that they will take care of me (at least I hope so). I know so much more about what to look for and what to call for.

I need to take this ONE day at a time !!!