Friday, February 29, 2008

To add insult to injury....

I found out today when I went to check my claims online that my obgyn's office has now charged me for each prenatal visit that I had. I was first seen on 12/26 to confirm pregnancy and paid my "one time" copay of $15 for pregnancy. I was seen again at 8 1/2 weeks on 1/18, 12 1/2 weeks on 2/15, and to discuss options on 2/21 where we scheduled the D&C. Going through insurance has been futile. They say that I should have ONE copay of $15 regardless if the pregnancy lasted 5 weeks or 40 weeks. They told me to call the billing clerk. Let's put it this way, she is not an easy person to deal with. I have had to get two referrals through her (my obgyn ok'd it) for a perinatologist and endometriosis specialist. It was like pulling teeth. I actually had to have my insurance company do a 3 way to get her to do the referrals. She kept saying I didn't need them and insurance was telling me that I did.

So I call the billing clerk. They don't count my first appt because it was for amnoreah. Whatever. I made the appt because I had about 20 positive pregnancy tests, not because I missed a period. The other two appts count as prenatal, however, she says that there is no code to charge for that. So what they do is charge you for EVERY OB APPT that you had (in my case that would be 4), so they can be paid. Now how is this fair. I already lost a baby. Now I get the additional punishment of paying out MORE money for something that was supposed to be covered??? Somehow this is not right. The billing clerk said that the minimum ob appts are 4 that are covered. So you have to be what 20 weeks along before your care is covered in full?????

I tried looking up CPT codes. However, could not find one that is for 1-3 appts. I can understand paying for the last appt as a preop because we did discuss surgery and my ob did schedule it. I think it is TOTALLY unfair to charge a woman that has just lost her baby for all ob appts (I don't really care what the billing clerk says about the first appt) when it was supposed to be covered under one fee of $15. I totally think my ob should get what he deserves. If I was supposed to pay $15 for each visit, I would. However, these are ob appts and now I get to pay an additional $45 because there is not a code. The clerk's reaction (who I now loathe more than anything in the world) is any questions???? I said no and hung up. Is it alot of money? Absolutely not. Can I afford to pay it? Absolutely. It is just the point of it. I pay my premiums for insurance. Which I can say have DOUBLED this year. My ob's office says there is not a code for the first three prenatal appts I had, I get charged for all of it. Totally unfair and a slap in the face.

I posted about it on the miscarriage board to see if others had the same problem. Most of the women except one said no, their ob's office coded it as prenatal. So I am going to talk with my ob on the 14th. It probably won't change anything, but it will make me feel better. I am just so angry that not only do you deal with the emotional and physical pain. You have to deal with this crap as well.

The good news is that I started bleeding heavier today. Which means the clots and old blood are finally breaking up in my uterus. It is just as disgusting as my ob said it would be. It hasn't been a dam bursting though. It means one more step closer ttc. I am going to try to conceive before AF. I doubt that it will work. I have to try. I feel so empty and sad. We decided that this one's name is Peyton. We don't know if it was a boy or girl. That name was one we were tossing around for both options. I don't know if my ob sent the baby to pathology. I hope he did. I did ask if he would and he kind of hedged on it. He said oh yeah. I guess I'll find out in another 2 weeks. I do know that that appt will be covered under post op global coverage. Or wait, will they try and charge for that one too?

Thursday, February 28, 2008

I think God hates me right now...

I am not sure why. It wasn't fair that I lost the baby just when the first trimester was completed, but now am having complications from the D&C. I have a uterus full of blood and clots that won't come out. Imagine being in labor for the last week and you will know how I feel. This morning I almost went to the ER at 4am because my stomach hurt so bad. I should have called my ob but am waiting till the office opens at 8am. I want to get this taken care of. I don't want to end up being admitted again or having ANOTHER d&c. All I want is to be normal again. I want to forget that I was pregnant these last three months, but can't. I still see the baby on the 50 inch screen at my peri's office on the wall. I hate that I think I am a nutcase right now. I hate seeing the looks of pity at the dr's office. There goes that girl, such a shame. It wasn't fair. Why is it that the young teeny bopper without a care in the world got to keep her baby and mine is dead? I have a nice house, family, job, and MOST OF ALL INSURANCE. This girl hadn't even bothered to apply for medicaid yet. I'm talking about the teen that had an appt the same time I did at my ob's office two weeks ago. I took some of the cough medicine for the bronchitis that had codeine in it and it has helped the pain some. However, my stomach is very very tender. Why is my body betraying me? I get up each morning thinking I have already gone through the two worst days of my life. It can only get better with each day. Each day is a step closer to trying again. Then I think when I do get pregnant again, I am going to feel so much guilt. Because it would be like trying to replace this one. I am sure when I call my ob's office he is going to want to see me today. That means seeing all the preggo magazines, pregnant women, etc. Then I think of the alternative, if I have a raging uterine infection, I could lose my uterus and that would be worse. So it's better to just suck it up and get on with it. People say it was God's will. Or this was for the best, there was probably something wrong with the baby. You can try again. It doesn't help me get through the now of it. I don't know how some of these women go through miscarriage after miscarriage. I take hope in that I have two healthy children. I got to 13 1/2 weeks. They tell me infection did me in. Chances are that I won't miscarry again. I just desparately want to get through the next month and try again. I hope that God will look down on us and bless us with another first try baby. However, I was one of the 2% that miscarry after 12 weeks. If I got struck by lightening once, I can get struck again. This all just sucks.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Very Sad News

I am saddened to say that we lost our baby at 13 weeks 3 days. I went to my peri appt on Thursday 2/21 and there was no heartbeat. It has been absolutely devestating for us because we thought we were safe and in the 2nd trimester. Just hearing the heartbeat the week before, well you can imagine. I had the flu last week and infection after infection. I am still fighting infections, bronchitis and now a raging UTI. The drs think this is what did us in. I was so excited to get to see our baby on a level II US at my peri's office. The only problem was there was no heartbeat. I still see my baby fully formed on a 50 inch screen on the Peri's office wall. The tech simply told me I am sorry there is no heartbeat. I honestly was in shock. I had my 2 year old with me because she needed one more day home before going back to daycare. My peri came in and verified and went and called my ob. My ob talked with me on the phone and asked me to come to the office. So I drove the 45 minutes back. I told him I wanted everything taken care of as soon as possible. I cried the entire night. They scheduled me for a d&c during my ob's lunch hour on Friday.

I cried all the way to the hospital on Friday. I cried when I arrived on L&D and they asked my name. The nurse took me to a private room. She let me cry for a good 15 minutes and then told me about her daughter. Another nurse came in and tried to give me some support group/study information for recurrent miscarriage. Only two problems, this was my first one. I was already doing the aspirin that they were testing in the study. I did get upset with this nurse because she referred to my baby as an embryo. I informed her that my baby was NOT an embryo but a baby with arms, legs, body, head on a screen. I was too far along to be an embryo. The baby had died the day before the peri said as the baby measured 13 weeks. My ob came up to see me and I cried again. I cried the whole way to the or. The transporter told me there wasn't a lot he could do for me but he would give me the best and easiest ride there. I got down to the or suites and saw my friend as the recovery room nurse. She cried with me. Then the nurse anesthesiologist told me she was going to give me something to help me and knocked me out. I don't remember anything else until I woke up in recovery. I ended up hemmoraging afterwards which was quickly fixed with another bag of fluids and doubling the pit. I ended up going home around 530 that night.

I spent all of Saturday sleeping and most of Sunday. The crying is getting a little less. I am just really hurt and devestated. Sunday, I ended up in the ER because I was having too much pain for a d&c and I started running a fever. They ran a bunch of tests and discovered my uterus is filled with blood and debris. They talked with my ob and he rx'd methergine. All that did was give me bad cramps and diareah.

I followed up with my ob today. The decision is to do watchful waiting. He could do another D&C but that starts the whole process over again. He knows we want ttc again as soon as possible. The same thing may happen again with the clots and blood. So he started me on Augmentin to kill my bronchitis that I have now (as a result of the flu) and prevent a uterine infection. I am to watch for more pain and fevers and call immediately if it happens. Then the office called and said my cultures from the ER show a raging UTI. So if I am not feeling better by Friday, I have to call and I guess do more antibiotics. I also found out today that he sat in recovery with me. I had no idea. Course, I did not open my eyes in recovery at all.

So we start again. I have to wait for the dam of blood clots to burst and then when the bleeding stops, we can ttc again. Hopefully it will not take long. My ob says it is just one of those things that happened. Not anything anyone did wrong. So pray that it won't take long and that we can get through this and that the time passes by for us quickly. Pray that we have a healthy baby and pregnancy again. My ob doesn't think it will take long as we have gotten pregnant on the first try twice now and the second try once. I have a good feeling for the next one. I hope everyone has that good feeling for us too.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

12 week 4 day appt

Well my bps are trending upward. Before pregnancy 110/70s. After BFP till 10 weeks, 120s/80s. Since 10 weeks 120s-130s/90s with a couple of 100 hits. My ob looked at them and was huh. If you look at my log, my bps are clearly down on the weekends. Then they start going up on Mondays. They continue to climb higher throughout the week. So I told him I do not want to up the meds at this point. I would rather take a work at home day. He knows I can go to full time work at home. So he agreed and wrote me a medical note for 1 day a week work at home. He specified that he wanted it done on Wednesdays. He didn't write that on my note, but if I need to I will call back and have him do it. I don't think I will need to though. I am to call if I have a couple of days of 100 diastolic. He said we will figure out what to do next, add a med, change the med, up the med, and or add more work at home.

On to appt news. I turned bright red when I realized my stomach was growling so loudly. I knew my dr would be trying to find the heartbeat with the doppler and it would be amplified. Of course it was. My doc said gee you better feed that kid. I was like I do, I gained a whole pound this month. LOL. He of course couldn't find it, so off to get the US. We did see it on US and discovered the placenta is anterior again. Man I must make kickass placentas cause even I could find it was so big! It looked like it took up half the uterus. So that's why he is not hearing it yet. We went over my peri appt a bit for next week and he wrote me a rx for that. He said it was for growth and because of my history and everything. I asked if I would still get the big 18-20 week US at the hospital and he said absolutely. Fetal structures at this age are hard to see, so I still get the big one. YEAH cause it is 4d. I can't wait for that one.

He went over the MAFP test. He asked if I wanted it and I said yes. I think he thought it was redundant because I will be having the genetic screening test next week at the peri's. However, I wanted it for a different reason than what he thought I wanted it for. It has been shown that it can be a soft predictor of pe if the result is a false positive. I think I will tell him that next time and see if he knows about it. I checked the studies last night to make sure and yep, definitely a soft predictor. Hey a girl needs all the info she can get. He kept asking me are you sure and yes I am sure. So he wrote it up. I am not really worried about costs. I am pretty sure my insurance covered this test last time with Sara. Plus I have 5k in my spending account. So I have money to cover the tests if needed. I intentionally put the max amount in it figuring I would be paying out the ying yang on ultrasounds and NST.

So m y next appt is 3/14 at 330. I need to ask what the schedule will be for me for 24 hr and bw.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

No news is good news

Nothing much going on. It is like ZERO degrees outside tonight. I totally dislike the cold. I wish it were summer. Left work early on Friday because I had this awful stomach and back pain. See I kept putting it off and saying oh it's a pregnancy thing. Well guess what? It wasn't. Had a raging UTI that had actually started to turn into a kidney infection. YEAH another 10 days on antibiotics. I told my pcp, you realize I have been on antibiotics almost my whole first trimester and she laughed and said yes. Darn immune system, when will it kick in??? OMG, I did not realize they hurt as bad as they do. Ouchies. But feeling much better now I got those antibiotics on board.

My online group, I ended up joing back on. I decided I wouldn't let a few people push me away and I do have wonderful friends on it. I tell you, there are a group of about 10 people on there that are just mean, ruthless, and don't have anything to do with their lives. One woman I sent an email to and politely asked her to please not contact me by email again. So she said likewise. Thought we were adults. She then proceeded to stoop to the level of a child and start sending nasty private messages to me. I asked her to please stop we are adults. Her response. I don't have to because it is a free country. I can do what I want. Now who as an adult says that? I finally figured out how to just block her. I am sure it totally pissed her off when she got the message that I blocked her. So then she decided to write a really nasty post about me and a few people gave her the save it and grow up.

Oh and I am totally excited. has all 4 seasons of lost on their website. I know what I am going tobe doing on bedrest, catching up on Lost. I was so excited to discover tonight that Brothers and Sisters was a new episode tonight. YEAHH. The writers strike is almost over. THANK GOD. Now I can see something besides awful reality tv. Oh and there is a new episode next week YEAHHHHHHHH!

Friday I see my ob. He has to check my urine again to make sure this infection is going away. Must have been bad if my pcp wants a recheck. I told her we are about ready to have me move on seeing. She said no need for that yet.

Watching the news right now. I may have to work from home tomorrow. Said weather is bad. HMMM, I do have my laptop home with me this weekend!!!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Wow, I can't believe I just did this...

I deleted my account with an online group that I have been apart of for three years now. I was part of the July expecting club but moved to the June playgroup because S was born early. I don't usually let people get to me. Anyway, the group has quite a bit of shall we say vocal and brash women. It seems that there have been cliques that have developed over the last 3 years. Enough that there has been a huge falling out and some people have left. I never would have thought I would be one of THOSE people. I mean it's just an online group. People you have never met in real life right??? One poor woman left this week because she wasn't feeling the love. Now in the group's defense, she did say she was taking some time off from the board. SO no one thought to really check in on her. That really upset her that no one checked in on her. So she left. Some people were really sad that she felt that way and left. Some of the witchy people were pretty unkind. Increasingly this week, I have thought wow this is so mean.

One woman earlier this week I defended. There is another woman that is extremely brash and mean. This woman was stating that she felt like she had lost a parent (admin resigned). The mean woman said she didn't need parents. I said wow that was mean because she said it meaner than I put here. It took a life of its own. Not even worth discussing.

So I had posted about how I had such a hard time with the referral/billing clerk at my ob's. She has been truly awful each time I have dealt with her. Three times over the last 4 years. All of a sudden I had people jumping all over me. So I deleted my account. I was on it way too much anyway and it is just a source of stress that I don't need to deal with anyway. The people that I talked with all the time have my email address anyway. I didn't do any big hurrahs like the other people have done. Didn't mass email anyone that I was leaving. I just deleted the account. It will show up as a guest instead of a member. I'll probably eventually go back, but because I can't really deal with it right now, don't need the stress, and need a break it will be awhile. I am wondering what is going on, but not enough to be brought back on.

I got the most wonderful uplifting email from an old friend I helped out not long ago that reminded me of the true things in life. This poor woman has been to hell and back. She had a pe pregnancy and lost the baby. Then had another pregnancy and lost that baby as well. It made me so sad. Here she is with no babies offering support to one that already has 2 and one on the way. She said some incredibly kind words to lift my spirits when they needed to be lifted. It's amazing how ONE person can make a difference. I don't think she'll even know how much her email meant to me even though I tried to tell her. She tried to tell me that my emails to her when she lost her babies brought her some comfort during her darkest days. WOW. I never knew. I was just worried about her. One baby is bad enough, but two. Life is totally not fair.

I am really sad that I felt I needed to stoop so low as to delete my account. However, it is best for me and the kiddo. Don't need my bps going higher AT ALL.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

10 weeks 6 days

Well I am 10 weeks 6 days. Morning/all day sickness has eased up. I still have to eat every couple of hours. I still gets some qeasiness but nothing like before. No news much except I am over the severe case of bronchitis, thank goodness! Bp has been up all week though. Running 120s/90s and then had two days off 101 and 102 on the bottom!!!!!!! So I took it easy all weekend and it dropped beautifully to 117/82 and 113/80. 6 pm reading was 120/91 after running all over town. So I am going to talk with my ob on the 15th and request part time work at home one to two days a week. All he can say is no.

Took S. to the pcp yesterday because her excema is terrible. It is all over her legs, going into her back and starting to get underneath her arms. The dr prescribed a super steroid cream for her and baking soda baths. We have already stopped using all soap products on her. Dr said that baking soda is a gentle cleanser and can be used as Dove even makes it worse. Dh is having the hardest time with this as he believes more is better. She asked about my bp and I told her it was going up. She said it was time to up the meds. But I know my ob won't do that at this stage. He would rather "maximze rest" as when you up the meds your body gets used to them. So I am really hoping he allows me to work from home a day or two each week. Plus saves me in gas costs. ;)

Dh is scheduled to go TDY 7/8-8/19. Don't ask me why he volunteered for this crap because he is a man. So he told the command he would be unable to go (he is civilian so don't think he is ditching military duty). They said ok, but want a dr's note (because he told them I would get one with no problem. I said I MIGHT be able to get one) to excuse him and stop the spanish inquisition. So I asked our pcp. She said for me to ask my ob because he knows my complete obstetric history. She said if he won't do it, she will. But she wants the exact wording needed because the military is picky. So I know if my ob declines, she will do it. I just hate having to go ask for it. I really po'd at my dh for putting me in that position. So I will ask my ob for that at the next appt as well.

Besides that everything is ok. We are extremely busy at work. I have 25 hours of comp time scheduled. If I work all of it, it brings me to only 60 hours to make up (down from 110.5) to have full paychecks from June 22-Oct 6th. Anything extra, is just icing on the cake. I'll have those 60 hours knocked out by the end of March.

I am disappointed that I am going to have to start working from home parttime (NOT). I really didn't expect to do this till April at the earliest. Looks like baby has other plans.