Sunday, January 25, 2009

Caitlyn Elyse is here at 36 weeks on 1/16/09

Reposted from my loss board:

Well we are finally home and all is well with both of us thank goodness. We had the amnio on Thursday morning and I waited ALL day for the results. Finally around 2ish I called the peri's office for the results. Good thing because they forgot to call me. Her lungs were mature. So that started the races to get the other 2 girls situated. Ran around the house grabbing stuff for the girls to take to grandmas. Kirsten had her first cheerleading competition this weekend, so we were getting that stuff together (that needs a suitcase by itself). At 4:30 my ob himself called and said let's get this show on the road and told me to be at the hospital at 6:45pm. So we got the girls and loaded up the car. I was sad thinking this is it and scared to of what was to come. Dropped off the girls at grandmas. Went out to dinner and checked into the hospital. Let me tell you a regular induction kind of sucks. It's nice that you can plan. However all the monitoring. It was long and slow (which was nice too). They put me on monitors for an hour to watch her heartrate (nonreactive as usual). My ob came in and put the cervadil in. Then I had to lay there for 2 hours on monitors. Blech. They told me I couldn't move and my back was killing me. About an hour 15 minutes into it a nurse came in and told me I could lay on y side. WHAT? So I immediately flipped over and was a much happier camper. Then right at the 2 hour mark I hopped up and peed because I was dying! The nurse came in (still hooked to monitors - they did NOT come off, but they had telementry) and said if I wanted to walk around I could. I thought that sounded great. Till I went out in the hallway and some girl had her entire family and then some there. She must have had 30 people there in the area. There isn't a lot of space because L&D is under renovation. So they have L&D rooms mixed on the same hall as postpartum and triage. So I decided NOT to flash the 30 people and went back to my room. I was getting horrible headaches so I was prescribed fiorinal during my entire stay. So I got some that night. Nurses came in and checked vitals. Next morning at 8am, my labor nurse came in. She checked my cervix (now labor nurses can't do a labor check if you come in, but they can check you when you are in labor? Providers have to rule out labor). Very soft but she said it was very posterior and not favorable? My ob came in at 830am with the nurse and a whole bunch of paperwork. It was consent for cytotech. He wanted me to sign off on it and while he was in there he could pop it in. Well he checked and said OH you are 3cms. Cervix is posterior but your good. We need to move you to L&D. WHAT? At that point I said I want my epidural please. I was having NO contractions (some cramping when he first put in the cervadil), no cramping, no pain and I wanted my epidural. The way I figure it. I did that natural labor crap with Sara when my epidural did not work. I have adenomyosis and endometriosis. I have NO desire to do natural labor. My dr looked at the nurse. The nurse looked at my dr (she was into natural labor and told me I knew too much about meds, my stuff, and I worried too much. She also told me I was not preeclamptic when my ob was not around. Funny how my ob and peri diagnosed me and my admitting diagnosis was mild pe. She gave me a hard time about the fiorinal too (this changed later on). You could tell she thought my induction was not necessary.) I looked at both them and said I am 3cms. I want my epidural and I am not kidding. My ob looked at the nurse and said give it to her. The pit and epidural can fight it out. A nurse anesthesiologist came in 45 mins later. LMAO. She tried 3 times to get the epidural in. She couldn't get it in. She kept hitting to the right of my spine and I would jump from the nerve she hit. Apparently, I have a small curve to my lower spine and a bony spine. I also had swelling along my lower back? So she called the Chief of Anesthesolgist. He missed too but got it the second try. He jacked it up. Love that man. I spent the day sleeping and being irritated by the stupid catheter I had to have. That thing bugged me. This epidural was different than the one I had with Kirsten. I could NOT move my legs and my tummy was so numb. Heaven. At 1230, my ob came to check me and break my water. I was a 4. Crap 4 hours and 1 cm. I told dh ummm we were done at this point with Sara. So he broke my water. That got things moving. At 2pm, they checked me and I was completely dialated. I had dialated despite her still being very high up (they said I dialated around her). So then they said we had to wait for her to come down. Now that was a wierd thing. I felt contractions physically moving her from high up under my ribs to you know where. At 2:30 they checked again and said she was still high and call them when I had pressure. At 3, I felt pressure but not alot (that was a GOOD epidural!). My ob said we could start pushing. They were taking bets on how many pushes (Sara & Kirsten came flying out at 3 pushes each). Miss Caitie did not do that because she had been so high up. Pushing was easy. Then I remembered about the lidocaine my ob used with Sara and there was no ring of fire. I told him with Sara he had done this circular thing and said he was putting numbing medicine on and it didn't hurt when she was born. He said lidocaine and I said I don't know, but you need to be doing that again as I don't want to feel the ring of fire. He laughed and started doing it. He was doing it a little at a time. The nurse took a bottle, broke off the cap, and poured it down there and said there. My ob said umm I was trying to be dainty. I told him, no time to be dainty right now. We were talking and joking through the pushing part. My ob tried his best to get us to give her his middle name for her middle name, but I told him ummmm NO. Albert doesn't work for me. Apparently, it is a family name and he doesn't even like his middle name. The nurse and my ob were just standing around for a contraction. They didn't hurt, just a bit of pressure. I would push. My ob would hold up his thumb and index finger and say I see this much of her head. They talked about how much hair she had. He would do that size thing again (COOOOOOL). Then they said she was up to her eyebrows. Then I physically felt her head rotate (didn't hurt but was the coolest thing EVER). I said is she actually moving? My ob said no, she is rotating her head and she is supposed to do that. Then she was out. Very slow controlled delivery. No tears. No stitches. Just a little skidmark my ob said. She came out with the cord wrapped around her neck twice which he undid quick. She was also came out with her hand by her face and legs crossed. She has the scrawniest butt and legs I have ever seen and has NO fat on her whatsoever. APGAR scores were 7/9. I think they gave her oxygen by blowing it. Oh and the baby nurse, was the same baby nurse I had with Sara. In fact, she came on at 3 and said OH Sabrina is mine. I remember her and know her and did her last baby!!!!!!!! LOVED HER. She came in and we were talking (my ob is probably like how does she know all these nurses, lol). She was like I remember how sick you were last time and those headaches. I was crying for you because I felt so bad for you. You had a horrible time last time. Caitlyn was born at 3:25pm. I cut the cord. My ob asked dh too but dh told my ob that was what he got paid to do. I was like me, me, me, I wanna do it. So my ob held her up and I cut her cord. The baby nurse took her right away and told me she looked excellent for 36 weeks. They worked with her for awhile. Again, I did not get her right away.I held for about 5 mins and she was whisked off to the nursery again. Her blood sugar was low when she was born so they gave her formula right away. That was about it. I had to stay in L&D for 4 hours for my epidural to wear off. I had it through pushing and everything! Best thing EVER. Because I was at risk for PPH, they kept pushing on my stomach. OWWWW. My ob made sure the uterus was clear. OWWWWW. He told me I wasn't going to like him very much and he was right. Once I got out of L&D I got moved to my room. I took a shower right away. Then went straight to the nursery. I got my baby. They did take her for the night, but I got her for a few hours. They were very careful on both of us for hemoraging (me), prematurity (her). I was actually ready to come home yesterday. The nurse told me there is no way they would allow a barely 36 week baby to go home at 24 hours. That went for me to. They wanted me under observation. I had a LOT of trouble with the night nurses not wanting to treat my headaches even though I had orders. One said I can't believe your ob ordered that and I told her to please check my record, it's there, and I want it. I had let one go to long while in labor and spent 2 hours in pain from the headache that was excruciating. No way was that going to happen again. She finally gave it to me but not happy about it. They also gave me effexor. It was to prevent ppd. However, I broke out in a rash on my hands and arms. They called my ob and he prescribed benadryl and said it was the effexor. So I now have an allergy to it. However, 2 hours later the benadryl did not kick in and I went back. To new nurses. I told them about the rash (same ones from the night before with the fiorinal). They were like so what. I said NO you don't understand. 2 hours ago this was on my arms. It is now on my face, arms, legs, stomach, everywhere. So they called my ob again after I asked them too (was itching like crazy). He prescribed a different antihistamine that did work and hydrocortisone cream. After that it was a different attitude and the nurses were great for the night. I also had vision issues earlier in the day, however, my ob said it would get worse before it was better. It would take a few days. They wanted Caitlyn to go to the nursery again for the night but I insisted I wanted her with me. She was no trouble at all and is a mellow laidback baby. She just squeaks and doesn't cry. So the nurse agreed. She came in every 2 hours to take her vitals. Plus feedings every 3 hours meant no sleep for me. Today I was going to go home at 1 however, things happened and they forgot to do my paperwork. They never gave me the birth certificate paperwork or anything. They were like OMG we thought you did that yesterday and I said umm nope. Then a woman came in by ambulance in labor. She delivered in the ER. (She thought she was having BH. Her water broke and baby was born 45 mins later!!!!!!). So I got pushed further back. They decided since I didn't get my paperwork done that I could go home after dinner (dinner is at 5pm). They said it would be better for us anyway because she was early. So we left around 5pm. Thank God. I was so bored. PCP came by to check her out and says she looks great. She has the usual preemie issues with eating, jaundice, and temps. She eats better than the girls. Her jaundice level is steady at 7. She is maintaining her temp. I told our pcp that I very glad that I kept her in 8 days longer than the peri wanted. She said she was too. She said it made a huge difference although she probably thought I was crazy for doing it. My ob said it was a good call on my part to keep her in and made all the difference. Everyone said it was an excellent decision to go ahead and deliver her at 36 weeks with a mature amnio. I don't regret doing it that way. I actually felt for once I got a say in the decision. It was nice it was a nice slow controlled delivery and not this is an emergency right now. It's much easier to recover when you are not really really sick. I do have a complaint that they did not give me antibiotics like my ob promised me. My ob had office hours and then it was too late. The labor nurse told me my strep test was negative and they don't give antibiotics just because. However, she did not know the reasoning on why my ob and I agreed to them (previous uterine infections with EVERY delivery and surgery) and the kidney stone (Two urologists recommended at delivery because of a stuck stone). I think the baby nurse that we had and this nurse talked because after the I remember your last delivery, I had no problems getting my fiorinal and what I wanted from her. She even was the one that dumped the bottle of lidocaine on me when I was pushing. So now I am worried about a uterine infection. I "think" I may have the beginnings of one. No temp, but today there has been some stomach pain when I had none and I thought I might have smelled something this afternoon but can't be sure. So I will be on the watch for it and will call my ob if it is. My back is sore from the epidural. Of course tired. Since I am allergic to effexor, no PPD med today. I am going to the pharmacy first thing tomorrow to get it. My ob came by today and started me on my endo meds (loestrin and prometrium). He said start taking it tomorrow. I asked him when I can have a hysterectomy. He said ummmmmm, I said again, I am not kidding. He said to wait till my annual to talk about it. He said my ovarian function (which feeds endo) will be decreased 70-80% by the continuous BCP and progesterone by starting meds right away after birth (waited 6 weeks with Sara and it was too late). He wants to see how this goes first. I am pretty sure I want it out. I can't live my life with horrendous periods. If he won't do it, I will go to someone who will. I am pretty sure if I am adamant about it in several months, then he will do it. I wish I could have those easy pregnancies, but we are 3 for 3 and pregnancy is no good for me. I am getting old. I am estatic that I can bend. She was sooooooo high up for so long and you don't realize it. I don't even look pregnant anymore (just overweight). I am a bit sad to never have the BFP, pregnancy, kicks to just me by myself, etc). I think I had an excellent labor and delivery. I wouldn't change what I had. I don't think it could have gone better and was a very happy ending. I also can't go through the risks of MC, PE, and everything else again. DONE. But like I said it's bittersweet to have that stage over with. I keep focusing on I can bend, I am not puking, and we are all healthy.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

What's worse, knowing what is coming or not knowing?

That's the question. At least when you don't know what is coming, you can process it later. When you know and why they are doing what they are doing, that's hard. I have probably read as much as I can about pe over the last 10 years. Advised hundreds of women who were in a situation just like me to get thy butt to the hospital. I have been researching what my peri said about reflexes. This is not good. It means my central nervous system is definitely involved. Another thing that I didn't realize was the twitching of muscles lately, there is a name for it and it is called clonus. This is very very bad. My peri is right, I am very high risk for a seizure. That has been going on for about a week. I have my regular ob appt on Tuesday. I had high hopes of making it to my peri appt on Thursday. I don't think I will be making it to that appt. Not with the CNS involved.

The worst part is I know what this all means....... Mag. In fact, I don't even feel comfortable not having it now. I also never knew that reflexes were a bigger indictator of pe than protein. Hah, who knew that. I came across a journal article that said that. That is why my peri freaked on Thursday.

I think knowing what will be coming is worse. At least when you don't know you just get scared. To know, that is different.

And PE Hits Again.....

How can someone be so unlucky to have it not once, not twice, but three times? I "almost" got delivered Thursday but talked my peri out of it. She was not happy. She wanted to take the baby if her lungs were mature. I have had a headache since 1/2. I started having blurry vision, stars, and black squigglies in my vision then too. Bps are up and down. Not too awful yet. Protein was 168 two weeks ago (just did another 24 hour catch that was turned in today). However, bp was high in peri's office 134/91. My reflexes were very brisk. I should have noticed that one. I noticed my reflexes being jumpy about a week ago. Because of everything she said I am mildly preeclamptic. She said I was very high risk for a seizure. She made me promise to call my ob if ANYTHING changed. Basically take care of baby stuff this weekend and come with a bag. If I make it past my ob appt on Tuesday (which she seemed doubtful on), then my appt with her will most likely be converted to an amnio. Fabulous. I'm hoping to make it to my appt with her.

Dh is driving me crazy with calling all the time to see if I am ok. He even offered his mother to babysit me to make sure I didn't have a seizure. Uh no thanks. Even the threat of seizures will not let me stay with her. I went to turn in my urine this morning and there was a code blue in the lab. So I got delayed because breathing takes precedence over blood and urine. He got mad because I didn't have my cell on. What if you had a seizure? I assure you I would probably be not the person calling. Then in the next breath, he says he'll be glad when I am delivered. Not because of the health risks involved. So I can stop making excuses being on bedrest. Whatever. I want to smack him right now. He can't have his cake and eat it too. As for me, I am just hanging out waiting to my Tuesday appt. My peri said that my ob and I will be talking at that appt. I just wanted a couple more days for her. I wanted to get to 35 weeks and I did that. So I am ok (well I am not but do I have a choice?) with delivering now. This way I can stay in my hospital with my drs. Since I have central nervous system involvement with the brisk reflexes, I most assuredly will be magged. My favorite drug.

Well that's my update. 35 weeks. Getting ready to deliver another preemie again.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

33 weeks! HAPPY NEW YEAR

Yes Happy New Year!!!

This week has been hard emotionally because it hit me all of a sudden that OMG I could be having a baby in 2 weeks. So far things are stable. My peri even said something about using her new US machines on me after they are installed on the 12th. Which makes me think she thinks I may get further this time. I have been sad that this will be our last baby. It makes me sad that I really don't get to make that decision. For my health, it would be wise to go ahead with the hysterectomy probably in a year. I am terrified of what the future will bring. I do know the obsessive worrying of HCG numbers, progesterone levels, MC, bp issues, PE are things I don't want to worry about ever again. To think I would actually get to use my leave for actual vacations instead of bedrest/maternity leave is quite exciting. I am never able to build my leave because for 10 years, we have been having babies. We can actually go on long vacations now!

I do want to keep her in as long as possible. I am daresaying dreaming of 38 weeks. I think I am ok with 38 weeks. I want her to come on 2/1 just so she can say superbowl baby and to also have a baby in the same month as my due date. Not sure what my drs are planning. I think they are planning to cut it out at 37 weeks.

I am terribly worried about after delivery and the endometriosis. I plan to discuss that with my ob in the next week. I hope to start the BCP regimen as soon as I can. I worry it will screw up my system. We can not let any of the lesions get active. Since we know it is there. We need to suppress it till I can have a hysterectomy. It does make me sad to do something permanent. I can NOT go through endo like I have the last couple of years.

So I had my ob and peri appts this week. Baby's HB looked good. I got a birth plan to fill out. The last time I did a birth plan, I was scared to fill it out with MY wishes because I thought I would be on mag and unable to do all the things I wanted. This time, I filled it out with everything I wanted. I figure they will tell me if I can't do something. I even asked to cut the umbilical cord since dh refuses to do that because he is so sqeamish. I asked to touch her hair as she is crowning - peri and sono tech tell me she has TONS of hair (how exciting the girls were bald). I asked to get her right away and for the first 4 hours. Depending on when she is born, I may not get her for 4 hours. I desparately want to get to 37 weeks + this time.

Anyway, everything looked good at both. My ob and I discussed preventing PPD next time. I wanted to start something now to prevent it. He recommended starting something the day of delivery. He recommends Effexor. I have read it works super fast but is hard to get off of. So I am going to ask him about that at my next appt. I also want to go over preventing infection and post partum hemmorage. I want antibiotics at delivery to prevent infection that I am sure to get. 2 out of 2 for deliveries I had a uterine infection. The only time I didn't get an infection with the laps was when I had antibiotics. I am terrified of hemmoraging again. I will never forget the gushing and lifting up the sheets and seeing ALL that blood. I was totally freaked. Dh was totally freaked. The nurses were cool as cucumbers. I got cleaned up quick and was given extra fluids and pit. Of course I am worried about pe. He told me he would not use mag unless he had to, meaning spilling lots of protein, symptoms, high bp. That still makes me nervous as this pregnancy is following scarily the way Kirsten did. It hit all of a sudden with her. I did not feel good having 168 in my urine catch. It was actually probably higher than that though as I cheated and did not want to have to redo the catch. I missed two early morning urine catches as Sara decided to stay up all night and in my tiredness forgot to use a hat.

My ob said he'll run another one in a couple of weeks unless I become symptomatic. Then one gets run asap. I'm still on bedrest which sucks. I have been trying to follow it. There is so much to do. I am waiting for my bp to take off. I have noticed it is fluctuating. Not good.

Right now I am pretty comfortable and wanting to keep her in forever. Ask me how I feel in a couple of weeks. Baby's estimated weight is 5lbs.