So how do you get through the next one?

So now that the one part is over with, I wonder how we will get through the next one. How will we ever go through pregnancy without being terrified, over anxious, and a worry wart. I mean I am probably going to be the most anxiety ridden woman around. Every little cramp, ache, spotting I will be going nuts on where before I blew it off. I had spotting with this one around 4 weeks. My ob asked me about it and I said yeah I had about a day or two of spotting between 4-5 weeks, and I figured it was implantation bleeding. Cramps, well yeah I had that too but figured it was ligaments pulling. Nothing to worry over. My ob was like yeah you are right. That was probably implantation bleeding.

He knows I am already a nut about bp. I mean I am the patient that comes in with her bp all charted and any changes on the chart on it. None of the other patients are like me with that the nurses have told me. Maybe I am just a bit OCD about it. When I was in the ER after the D&C and giving my history. I started rattling off on yes I have chronic hypertension that is controlled with 5 mg of Ziac. I had severe pe and hellp syndrome in my first pregnancy and severe pih in the second. I told him that the difference was the protein in the urine. I asked him about results of the urine sample, how much was in of this or that. The ER dr says to me, you know a lot more about this than my normal patients. My normal patients would never come in and use the terms that you are using. Those are terms that us drs use. Hmmmm, not sure what to make of that. Maybe I am a little OCD about it? If he thinks I am bad, he should talk with my pcp. She had HER dr prescribe Ziac for her bp and it averaged 130/80. Now it averages 110/60-70 for her. Which is exactly where she liked to keep mine at before getting pregnant. My pcp's dr even asked her if she was really sure she wanted to be on Ziac as he did not consider her to be hypertensive. She said yes.

So with the next one. How do I not go crazy? How do I stop myself from calling my ob about every little pain, twinge, or spot? I think that may be one of my questions for my ob at my post op. I have a desparate need with the next pregnancy to have an early US. I hate that I never got a picture of this one. I hate that I never actually heard the heartbeat but only saw it. I am going to ask my peri with the next pregnancy if she has a copy of the picture in my file. The tech saved some of the images. I am going to ask my ob to please send me for an early US. I am also going to ask my ob to allow me to come in for a heartbeat check before the peri appt at 13 weeks. I absolutely can not deal with having to drive 40 minutes each way only to find out what I did. Seeing I live in a small town, peris are few and far between. I guess in a way it was good that I found out at the peri's office. Seeing I don't have to drive past it every day. It would have been worse at my ob's office. My dh has already been told he will be coming with me to peri appts. Thank goodness in the summer he has it practically off because he works for a college. That's another thing. He works with ROTC cadets. This summer they are scheduled to go to camp for FORTY DAYS. He did this last year. It was really hard being a single parent. We got through it.

Well they have signed him up again and he has to go. Unless I get one of my drs to write and say that he needs to stay here and help me. If I got pregnant within the next month or two, I would only be 4 months in July when he would go. Still too early for PE to hit, but enough along that my schedule would be cut down. That's another thing. I have decided I don't really care for my works BS. Every pregnant woman has been offered the opportunity to work at home full time for NORMAL pregnancies. Here I was fretting when I was high risk. You know what, as soon as my doc says I am out. I AM OUT. If I have to go to the EEO route, I will. Our chief of finance (supervisor) has been out work at home full time for a normal pregnancy since last April. She will continue till June. So if she can do it, so can I. I fully intend to take advantage of it.

We have decided to take a vacation this summer to Lake George. Probably in late June, early July. I found a resort that is all inclusive for 3 nights 4 days. I talked with dh about it and he really wants to do this too. I am worried about being away from the drs at that time, however, well we need a vacation. Maybe God wanted us to have some time together this summer.

So let's hope that I won't be a crazy, neurotic woman next time. I guess my ob is used it to by now.