6 dpo

I am really thinking I am imagining things. I'm tired. Last week I was plain exhausted. I attributed it to the blood loss though. Today I slept all night really well and I am contemplating a nap. My boobs are sore, more than 2 days ago, and sensitive. I am filling out the bra that I bought when pregnant. It was so disheartening when everything deflated immediately afterwards. I went into the hospital obviously pregnant. Bigger boobs. The next day, no boobs. A smaller belly. Not small enough to fit in my old jeans well, but too small for maternity. I am peeing constantly. More now than the last two weeks. I am trying to blame that on the kidney infection. However, I have had it for 6 weeks now. So can I really blame it on that? Oh I really really hope that it worked. I hope and pray that this baby sticks. I would hate hate to miscarry again. I hope my mind is not playing tricks on me. No nausea yet.

I couldn't find my enteric low dose aspirin last night, so I had to take the yucky baby aspirin. Next time I go to the store, I'll buy some. I forgot to have my ob write a rx for prenatals so that I can write it off my FSA. I think I have enough to last me if I do get preggo.

I just got done writing thank you cards to my ob and the two ob nurses that took care of me. I am so happy that my ob is writing me out of work at the first appt part time. Even one day a week will go far to reassure me, plus save on gas. I am especially happy that I will get an early US. One for dating purposes and two because I will actually HEAR and SEE the heartbeat on US. Plus I will get pics!!!! YEAH.

Took a pregnancy test this morning. BFN. I know I know it's too early, but a girl can hope right? Next test will be at 9dpo on Tuesday morning. That is the earliest that it will show up. Plus, I can say see look here are two negative tests to prove it. One done on this day and the other done on this day. I don't want the midwife to say that it is leftover hormones. I thought about the questions if it happens that the receptionist will ask. So, when was your last period? ummm Nov 17th. You are just now calling. No I miscarried at 13 1/2 weeks and had a d&c on 2/22. I had negative tests. Now I have a positive. J will flip if she is the one to take the call and go announce to everyone in the office. Probably as soon as my ob would show after seeing a patient, guess who just called. LOL.

I am going to be crushed if it didn't work. I will go on for the next month. I really think I did ovulate because I had a dark line and had ovulation symptoms. You know I somehow wonder if there wasn't a sign. I had such heavy bleeding on that Thurs, Friday, and Saturday afternoon that I really thought my opportunity was gone. Cause no way would I do that with bleeding. Once that clot passed. NOTHING. It was like the window opened and I took the chance. My friends IRL and Sara's daycare teacher were furious that I would try so soon. They said let your body heal. I disagree. If the baby is ready to implant, it will. If not, then I will have an early miscarriage and no one but me, dh, and my dr would know. Ok, you guys would know cause I wouldn't leave you in the dark. Plus, I believe in that your body will remember it was pregnant and may take better this time. In addition, the old boy girl sperm theories. We have always tried, before, during, and after ovulation. This time there was only the day of ovulation. That is what you are supposed to do for a boy. So maybe someone higher is looking out for us. If my ob didn't scold me, then they shouldn't either. He wasn't even disappointed and was happy for me. So, if he can be happy and HE has to be the one to deal with me, then everyone else should too.

I researched it. There are just as many happy stories of successes as there are for a miscarriage.

Tonight, Kirsten goes to a friend's house. We are going to watch Horton Hears a Whoo. Sara is so excited. It is a crappy day outside. Dh and I will have the house to ourselves tonight after 730 cause Sara conks out early with no nap.

Next weekend my inlaws are treating us for brunch at a country club. Which means tomorrow I get to go and buy the girls Easter dresses. I was not planning that, but oh well. I want to find one that matches the pretty pink shoes I got Sara for Christmas.