Ramblings

Tomorrow will be the first day without annoying coworker and I will have to step up and do more work now. AGGGGGH. I don't wanna work. I just want to go and obssess and make a baby. Then when I make that baby, I am taking it EASY. The good news is that the office will be quiet! Someone remarked on Friday after she cleared out that the office was quiet. LOL. We don't have to hear about her stinking disfunctional family. I swear this woman didn't get it. Her kids treat her like crap and expect her to pay for everything. One kid is in MA and she says oh mom come down for Easter. Guess what, mom is paying for 20 people to go out for easter dinner. Then she buys groceries to last them awhile. Takes everyone out shopping. Go out to dinner each night. Another kid is planning a birthday party for the dh. Well guess who is paying for everything for that! She is paying for all the kids cell phones, cable, car insurance, cars. The kids are 24-38!!!! Go out and get a damn job. One kid has 3 duis but it is not his fault because he is learning disabled. Excuse me??? Last time I checked drinking and driving is because you are stupid not because you have trouble reading. So very very glad she is gone. Hope she doesn't ruin it at that place to where they don't want me. Don't worry about it, I would ask for the office on the opposite side of the building and private. Right now we have cubes....

Today's highlights:

Did not feel like making dinner. Just not into it and I hate cooking. Dh ran to Super Walmart, picked up a fried chicken dinner for four, served it to everyone including me. It only cost $7. Heck, we'll have fried chicken dinner every night for that price. This is really a big deal. My dh very very rarely makes dinner. EVER.

Made colored eggs with the girls today.

Still have sore, sensitive, and full boobs. Still peeing a bright yellow color every 5 minutes. Started doing very light spotting. Very light. Driving me crazy. GO AWAY. Wierd stomach pain today under breastbone and to the right. Wierd aches and pains in the abdomen area today. Even dh said my boobs were bigger today, but he thinks I am a nut and no way that I could be preggo.

Got Kirsten's dance camisole at danskin.com Ugggh, No one told me there was so much involved in dance. In the last few days, I have spent a fortune. So far is a list of what I have bought:

shoes - $22
tights - $10
pictures - $18
Tshirt - $13
camisole - $21
and that is only what I can remember. There will be fees for doing her hair because I am not good at that. She has to have french braids. So much for getting her shaggy hair cut. Then I have to go out and buy like 10 different kinds of makeup like body glitter, eye makeup, cheek makeup. I don't even WEAR makeup myself. They have to be a specific color. She has so many appts in April. We have rehersals, pictures, regular dance classes. Plus she is starting Drama Club. This actually saves me money because I can pick her up afterwards and not pay for afternoon adventure.

Why is it that every freaking celebrity is pregnant? Angelina, Jamie Lynn, Minnie Driver, Matt Damon's wife, Halle, Nicole Kidman (ok, she is ok as she has miscarried many times). So not fair.

I keep reading I have the same chance as anyone else. That mine was a freak thing. Blah blah blah. It does reassure me that I will get an early us and will be cutting my work schedule immediately. I know that even my ob keeps telling don't even think for a minute that it is your fault and you did this, I can't help it. Worked too much, took the wrong OTC med, had too many infections. If I had recognized the kidney infection while it was still a UTI, maybe it would have helped, but I kept passing it off as something else. Not next time, I will call and say KIDNEY PAIN.

I keep thinking one month since the baby died. One month. On one hand it seems like it has been an eternity. On the other hand, it seems like yesterday. I know that time is relative. I just wish to get pregnant asap. Then fast forward through 14 weeks. Every twing, pain, ache is going to freak me out. Funny my ob knows I am going to be a quack!