Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I don't understand this at all.....

So I got a bill for the US that said there was no heartbeat from the peri's office. Originally it was a transnuchal screening. At the time my peri and the tech confirmed no heartbeat. I asked the tech when and she did a crown to rump measurement and said the baby measured 13 weeks. I was 13 weeks 3 days at the time of the us. My peri confirmed it. She said the baby had passed in the last day or so. She asked me what had changed that week. I told her I had had a really bad case of the flu and a severe kidney infection. She said that is probably what did it. The US was projected onto a 50 inch screen that showed a fully formed baby. The baby was laying on his back. Arms were down by the side. Knees were bent like doing a situp. Showed head, body, even a nose that looked like mine (dh has a big one), a normal US profile except baby was still. I have had that image burned into my brain since it happened. I also had an US at my ob's office at 8 1/2 and 12 1/2 weeks. His machine is pretty old. The one at 8 1/2 weeks showed a blob with a heartbeat. The one at 12 1/2 weeks showed a bigger blob with a heartbeat. He didn't focus on the baby as much as the heart. We clearly saw the valve of the heart clicking.

So I mailed in my $5 copayment. I included a note that asked if there any US pictures, could I please have a copy. I knew that the tech had saved them because she wouldn't let me up until she did. I get a call from the nurse at my peri's office. They left a message on the answering machine. She said she went back and looked at my pictures. She said that she was sorry to say that there really wasn't anything in there because the baby had been so slow growing??? She said there wasn't a baby at all in the pics? I don't understand. How can 3 USs, my peri, ob, us tech and me be wrong? Do you think they got the wrong patient and pics mixed up? She did say my name. This has me extremely upset.

In addition, my paperwork for the d&c said fetal demise at 13 weeks. Not fetal demise at 13 weeks 3 days which is what I was at the time I found out. The baby had measured 13 weeks crown to rump. I tried calling the office because this is driving me crazy now. They closed at 3 and don't reopen till 730 tomorrow. Great calling them on my birthday. I mean if the baby was very slow growing, then it won't change the next pregnancy. I would like to know the truth. Now I am wondering if I hallcuinated the whole thing!!!

I just want to know the truth of when the baby passed. Cause now I can't stand knowing!!!!! It's ok if they don't have the pictures. I just want the truth. I am also going to be requesting the operative and pathology reports from my pcp as my ob copies her on that stuff. I have to turn in med forms for Sara next week anyway. If I am pregnant, I will know next week and I really think I am. I am 8 dpo. I think I see an extremely faint line on my super sensitive pregnancy tests. It's so early that it is hard to see. I am going to keep testing. I am super nauseated today and the last couple of days. I have been dizzy too. I almost barfed at Applebees tonight. I know way tmi. I had to tell dh it was time to leave.

Ugh wish me luck tomorrow. I want a BFP for my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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