The big week...

So the big week is finally here. The week that I hit 13 weeks and I am terrified. Terrified that IT will happen again. I can't take comfort and say I am overreacting and everything is ok because it was NOT ok the last time. I have my genetic screening test at my peri's office on Thursday. Thank God my ob is bringing me in for a heartbeat check. I think I have been getting baby more and more on doppler. I can't be positive on what I am getting. I am bringing the doppler to my ob's office on Thursday and hope he will show me how to use it properly or confirm that I am doing it right. The time has gone by fast and God has blessed me with no nausea or morning sickness (one of the things I dreaded and redoing pregnancy again).

My bps are definitely on the rise and I need to talk to him about it on Thursday. I started pregnancy off with 110-120/67-low 80s. It is now 120-130/87-97. YIKES. That is a DEFINITE increase. I don't like it. I have been trying my hardest to rest as much as possible. I come home from work and lay on my left side for most of the night (hard to do with a 3 year old and a dh gone tdy). Weekends are spent on the couch on left side. Work at home days have me with my laptop and feet up on the couch with pillows behind me. Then during lunch and breaks, I am on my left side. NOT WORKING. So I think another work at home day is in order and possibly increase my meds.

I talked with my boss and point blank told her to expect an increase by a day of work at home time. She asked me to arrange it for Tuesdays/Thursdays. That way I am in the office every other day. (Also, HOORAY on saving on gas!!!). Dreading that part of the appt. I am also pretty sure I have lost more weight which my ob won't remark on, but the nurses love too! I am eating as much as possible, but it seems like pregnancy revs up my metabolism. Why can't it do that not pregnant?

Oh and the latest news, dh and I are planning a little vacation. My cousin is getting married in the old fashion southern way. It will be quite the exclusive and fancy affair. They sent an invitation addressed to ALL of us to include the girls. Since we have not taken a vacation in awhile. I am DYING for some southern hospitality. I think we are going to sneak home to Charleston SC. I called my sister and she knows and is thrilled. I have not spoken to my mother. I guess we will tell her when we get there. I was hoping to put on the invitation that please do not say anything to anyone that we will be coming, it will be a surprise. There are some people that I do NOT want to know that we will be there - Mother and other crazy sister. Apparently, my mother and crazy sister are all cozy nowadays and well I can't stand my crazy sister. My mother is not on my list of favorite people right now. One of the lessons that I learned from miscarriage is that it is OK to not be polite and to have to talk to someone just because they are family. I thought I would need my mom. It has been quite liberating not to have deal with her crap. I don't have to listen to how everything is always someone else's fault. I don't have to listen to her money worries because she can not manage her funds. I don't have to listen to the whining her house is falling down around her because it was us kids fault (I havn't lived at home since I was 18 and that was 16 years ago!!!!). It has been quite nice and wonderful. I realized something was really wrong with a mother when the first thing she can say when she hears about her child coming into good fortune is where is mine? That really rubs me wrong. A NORMAL mother would say how wonderful for you and congratulations. My mother, the first thing she would do is have her hand out. That is such a sad sad situation.

So we are sneaking into town. I decided that since we are paying the money for a hotel room (our family is too big to stay in ONE bedroom of my sister's house), we are going OCEAN FRONT baby. I want to wake up to the waves lapping and the sun shining. I need the ocean. It brings strength. It brings calm. It is peaceful. At this stage, I desparately need it. So I am currently looking at hotels now. We are planning on going Labor Day weekend. The plus side to staying at a hotel at the beach is my mother can not take the beach. She will not go into the sun. This makes a boring time for her. Also, if I stayed at my sister's house, my mother will be over ALL the time and not leave. My sister lives within 10 minutes of my mother. Being at the beach, I am NOT that accessible. I have no intentions of revolving MY vacation around my mother. Yes we will see her because we have too. We won't be with her the WHOLE time. Anyway, I plan on taking the girls to the Aquarium there. We are going to do a carriage ride. We are going to go to Market street and the old slave quarters and walk around. I want to buy several prints from my favorite artist Jim Booth. I am hoping they can ship them home for me. If not, I will stop at a UPS store or something and ship them. I don't want to be lugging them on the plane.

So this all depends on - getting my drs approval to go, getting good flights and hotel rates.