I have the Blahsss

Work totally sucks right now. I often wonder if I made the right decision in turning that VA job down back in February. At the time, I really thought I was doing the right thing. I am getting EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED with work right now. What pisses me off is that EVERYONE now expects me to lead them. I don't want to freaking lead them. Why, because everyone that had experience has been run out of the office into new jobs. R is leaving as of 8/1. L left in February (actually I was not sad to see her go because she didn't know what she is doing). This last week has totally stressed me out. Especially on Wednesday and my ob was not happy at all with my pressures that night. The bottom number was 97. OMG. I wasn't privy to the conversation between new boss and old boss, but she said she told my new boss I was pregnant and had problem pregnancies. I don't think she told him I would be on leave by the end of the year. Either that or he doesn't believe it. The nice thing is he seems to be a really nice guy and wants to work as a team. He learns fast. HE KNOWS COMPUTERS, thank GOD. Friday I got totally pissed off because I was working on several projects at once. At the very end of the day, a PM comes down and says can we get this awarded. Waiting for Counsel to bring it back. I finally asks J to go get it. While she is doing that I start redoing the letters. R starts crazy yelling at me that thank God for J and heaven forbid I do my job. Which I calmly reply back (becuase it is J's job to be goffer and I am not supposed to be running around like an effing crazy person because of pregnancy - he doesn't know that I am pregnant), that I sent him the package in our computer system and while J was getting the package I was retyping the letters. I was not a contracting officer and can not sign it. So who was not doing their job?

My poor new boss said Sabrina is there anything I can help you with? On top of that, the new credit card person decided she did not feel like going to a training conference this week. Did she take the initiative and possibly do a google search for the conference and cancel her own reservations? Umm no. She kept coming to me to do it. Then I was supposed to show them how to do a solicitation announcement on the internet. I waited all fing day for this one girl to get her crap together. I go to put it in finally after the third time where she asks if I am ready and I tell her I have been waiting on her. Only for her not to know what kind of announcement she is doing. At that point I am done. She can freaking learn from watching the video. Credit card manager sat with her and helped her. I refuse refuse refuse to show her anymore stuff. She has been here almost 2 years now and to hear her tell it she has never been trained. I know for a fact our current boss has shown her how to do this stuff on many occasions. She does not take notes and would rather be a social director. Meaning she wants the money of the job because it is a nice grade, but she doesn't want to do the work to get the grade. I am so done with her. If I hear out of her mouth how she can walk out at anytime because she can retire, I am going to say then please retire because you don't know what the hell you are doing here.

Then I find out last week that we are hiring an "asshole" as my old boss put it. Nice impression before you even start work. She said she would have never have hired him. However, she is retiring and won't be here to deal with it. Thanks.

We are also getting 2 interns by the end of September. Fabulous more people to train. I hate hate hate training people. I don't have the patience for it. Maybe I don't have the patience for training older people. I don't have a problem training the new boss, he understands computers.

So this is how work for me is now. The good news is the new boss I think sees me as a partner. Cause on Friday he told me when we do the dredging contracts next year, we need to do an IDIQ and cut delivery orders. HOORAY.

Too bad I won't be around for that if this baby sticks. I am seriously going out on full time work at home or possibly leave and part time work at home. I have the desire to just take it easy. Work isn't worth it if my baby dies again. I see my bps rising. Could be because the placenta is starting to take over now and we all know placentas suck with pe. Could be combination of how work is going.

I have been on my own with the girls for the last two weeks. This is old also. Dh comes home on the 19th and I can't wait. I am so tired of being the only parent. It's hard because I need sleep and I am not getting it. I just wish the next few weeks would hurry up and get here. I told dh when he gets back, I am sleeping for a week.

Oh and a funny, my ob gave me a no travel offsite medical note. Now just WHO will be attending all of these site visits for work?? R used to. I refuse to do ANY travel now. ha ha ha lmao!