Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I'm back!

I'm back from vacation. Let me say what a BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL very traditional wedding it was. We were late by about 15 minutes because there was supposed to be a second trolley for pick up. Well they cancelled it and FORGOT to tell us. So we ended up taking a carta bus, which went all over downtown Charleston. UGH. Then I remembered it was a catholic wedding and those take forever. HOORAY. The girls absolutely enjoyed and loved loved the beach and pool. My non beach loving husband wants to come every year. We took tons of pics. We rode a carriage ride, did a boat harbor tour, and went to the aquarium (which thrilled Sara to death). I got my two paintings that I wanted.

We also saw my mother. When my sister called and told her we were in town, she DEMANDED several times to know where we were at. I refused to tell her and so did my sister. She didn't seem to understand the concept of PRIVATE FAMILY TIME. If I had told her, she would have came and parked her butt in my hotel room 24 hours a day. NOT HAPPENING. Plus she would have told my other sister who would have stalked us. My sister tried to tell her to take the time that we were here as an opportunity and to embrace it and not complain about everything in her life. That meant no money, no dealing with her numerous health issues, blah blah blah. Upon hearing that we were in town, she immediately started bawling and hung up the phone on my sister. Then she called my sister back saying how wonderful a mother she was (um yeah if you call mental, physical, and emotional abuse a great mother, then she was mother of the year). Then she started in on she didn't know WHY I was so angry and upset with her. Umm let's see. You took the worst moments of my life and made it so much more worse than it had to be. Not only did I have to deal with the death of our baby. I had to deal with you running your mouth all over town about how I was suicidal, severely depressed and needed to immediately see a psychiatrist. You had not EVEN talked with me. How the hell would you know. You made it seem like it was wrong for us to be sad and grieve our baby. You took that away from us. You treated me like I was a 16 year old that had done something wrong when you found out we were pregnant. So yeah, I had EVERY right to be angry and upset. She kept saying over and over how could I just not tell her we were coming??? Boy she must be living in a total freaking fantasy land. Then my sister said there was another thing. I was 4 months pregnant. Which made her even more hysterical. Yet when my niece hopped onto the phone, she immediately dropped the hysterical crying act and was ok. WTF. My sister said it was ALL an act. It kind of made my mom look like an ass when I was 4 months pregnant and looking pretty happy. my sister told her she needed to make a sincere apology for how she acted after we lost the baby. She did several times. I guess I should be happy that she apologized. I got the feeling that she just did it to clear the air and because it was what I wanted. Not that she was truly sorry for what she did. She was truly sorry for the aftereffects. So we met her for breakfast. She saw the girls. Then we were to meet at a local downtown hotel for my cousin's wedding, except we missed the trolley.

Then at the wedding my other sister was there (she is totally crazy, bipolar, and is a social misfit, and drug addict). My girls have NO idea who she even is. I wouldn't talk to her cause I can't stand her. I certainly don't want her near my kids. Anyway, because we were late, we ended up on the other side of the church away from my family. HA HA HA. My one sister was mad because she wanted to be on my side, lol. At the reception, there was a cocktail hour inside the museum. My crazy sister in the bathroom comes up to my 3 year old and says do you know who I am? I was thinking um NO SHE DOESN'T AND IT IS STAYING THAT WAY. Of course Sara looks at her like uh no crazy lady I don't. We ignore her. She then tells this woman that she is my child's aunt. This poor woman that was attending the wedding is like trying to make small talk. She asked her if we lived far apart and that's why Sara didn't know her. My sister mumbled yeah something like that. So anyway we get out of the bathroom quick. As we are coming back, my sister is bringing back name plates. Aww how cute. Till we realized that my aunt had split us up ( THANK YOU). My sister and her family were up front with the family table as were we. My mother and other sister were ALL the way in the back at the LAST table. OMG. It was like WWIII had started. My mom was pissed. She thought we had something to do with it. We didn't. Last my sister and I had read in email was bridal party and immediate family would be at assigned seating. Everyone else would be casual. She shot daggers all night and said well it looks like we are at the reject table. That was not the case. What actually happened was my teenaged cousins got put at a different table than their parents. They put my mom and sister (she was with my mom because she doesn't know how to act in social situations and they were worried she would act out) with table of people they didn't know what to do with. In fact, my great uncle was at the SAME table. See my parents divorced when I was 6. My father died when I was 9. Ever since my mother has bad mouthed my father's entire family. When my grandmother died and left us a very very small inheritance ($3k and crazy sister got $6k because my grandmother said she needed more), she had her hand out expecting us to give her money. She is just so negative. So WHY on earth would she think that she is a part of my father's family? She expects to be invited to ALL family functions. Yet, she is NOT part of the family and bad mouths them. So anyway at the end of the night, they left at 10pm. When they left, I invited her to the aquarium with us on Monday.

On Monday, she calls my one sister and says she doesn't know HOW to get there. Is she smoking crack? She has been there several times and there are signs all over the interstate and downtown on how to get there. My sister told her she could not ride with her. Somehow she made it and was early. She behaved well for the aquarium. So then I invited her for lunch. We went to California Dreaming. After that we wanted alone time for our last afternoon/night in the hotel. She still wanted to hang with us. She asked my sister if she was doing anything afterwards with us. One it was not any of her business. Two she wasn't. I said no and left it at that. I swear if we were, she would have totally invited herself along. I seriously thought she was going to pop up at the airport this morning. Maybe she did and I didn't see her. Anyway, when we left the restaurant, she apologized again. Ok I get it. It's still really hard to forgive and forget. I tried to do a google search on forgiving and forgetting what she did. I am really trying to be the bigger person. It's hard. I have a lot of resentment from my childhood from her. What she did after we lost the baby reinforced and reaffirmed everything I felt. I mean your mom is supposed to be there for you no matter what. She's supposed to love and nurture you. She's supposed to be the one that you can turn to. I don't have that and never will. As much as I would LOVE a mom like that, it will never ever happen. My mother has always put herself first before she did us. She received money for us from SS and yet we never saw a penny of it. She told us everyday how much she hated having kids and wished that we had never been born. It was because of US that her life was so awful. So I am trying to read up on the forgiving and forgetting thing. I think I can probably forgive her. I don't want to be a person consumed with anger. However, I don't think I can ever forget it. It would be more of she will know only what I tell her and nothing more. Kept at arm's length. Very sad.

So anyway, back to the pleasant parts of our trip. We just had a lot of fun being a family. My family so enjoyed the beach. I definitely recommend the Holiday Inn Hotel at Folly Beach, SC. It has a pool oceanside. The pier is right next to it. There is a volley ball court there on the beach. Poolside bar. Entertainment every night. Kids eat free. Every room is ocean front. How can you go wrong? Even Sara started BAWLING this morning when she saw us packing. She told us we couldn't go and she loved the beach.

Oh and back to my cousin's wedding. The dinner part was outside. Charleston ironwork lanterns lit the path to the garden area where a big white tent with candles was errected. The dj played Carolina beach music. It was absolutely breathtaking and beautiful. My neice and Sara were best of friends. I can't believe how much Chloe is just like my sister. CUTE.

Oh and my aunt in PA and I have decided that we will never ever ever live in Charleston again. It's too crowded, too packed, too much. We both love our nice quiet rural small town lives in NY and PA. It's nice to visit oh every 4-5 years.

No comments: