Thursday, November 13, 2008

Ong Rant about DH

So feel free to skip it. Don't get me wrong, I love my dh. He is a great father. However, I can't stand him lately. I feel under appreciated. Quite frankly I am SICK TO DEATH OF IT. I bust my tail to keep the house clean, only for it to get destroyed by the kids and more from HIM. This week has been awful. I have had contractions off and on. My ribs have been killing me. I feel he is unsupportive and a complete asshole right now. Everything with him is always rush, rush, rush. It's not my fault. It doesn't help that he has an undiagnosed anxiety disorder that needs to be medicated. There is nothing wrong with anxiety. In fact, I am about ready to ask my ob for meds myself. I feel like I have a 3rd kid around here. So what has been going on?

1) He has a sailor's mouth and a drill sergeant's bite. Everything that comes out of his mouth is a curse word. Which our lovely 3 year old daughter has so lovingly picked up. FABULOUS. I am not innocent in this either. However, I TRY really hard not to. EVERYTHING is done in Mr. Drill Sergeant's voice. These are little kids. You screaming at them for doing a kid thing or not moving fast enough or not whatever scares the living beejees out of them. I don't like hearing it, so why would they. They are small. You are big. Get it? This morning, I can hear him clearly yelling at Kirsten at 7:50am that she was to go get her coat. Not hey go get your coat. YELLING IT. When Kirsten came inside (because now I am contracting AGAIN), I told her to tell her dad to please stop yelling the neighborhood can hear him. He comes in yelling at me and says he was not yelling. I said yes you were I could hear every word you said clearly. If I can hear it, so can the neighbors. No wonder our one neighbor moved. He asked me what he said. I repeated it verbatim. He didn't say anything. Then he said we needed to talk tonight. Um no, you just need to STOP. It's easy. He has a xanax rx but has NOT been taking it.

2) I am sick of him saying it must be nice to be on the couch. Yeah. I am vegetating on the couch to keep this baby in for another 9 weeks. Sorry it's an inconvenience to you. It would be better than not being admitted to the hospital for the duration. Which would you prefer?

  • 3) Sewer line. I have no idea why my dh requires massive amounts of toilet paper to wipe his butt. He will seriously go through an entire double roll of Charmin in ONE FREAKING TRIP. I keep wet toilet wipes in the bathroom for that oh so nice clean feeling. Yet he uses an entire roll. Tuesday, I noticed our washer was backing up. It empties into the laundry sink which empties into the sewer line. Hmmmm. We have ONE bathroom (Our next house WILL have 2 1/2 or more). Dh just came back from tdy again. I am sure he has CLOGGED the line again with his excessive toilet paper useage again. This time it is in the line. There is a small root at the city line that needs to be fixed. It is on city property. It is not on mine. However, they refuse to fix it. I refuse to dig up lines and spend 2k. So the solution is to dump root killer in once a month. No problems for several years till I got lazy last winter and didn't do it. Then after we lost the baby, the sewer backed up too. So fil and I track down to the local rental place and get a sewer snake. It costs $35 to rent. It is very heavy and dirty work. DH has NEVER EVER snaked the sewer. Nor has he cleaned the mess up. So we snaked it. Fil helped me clean up. Line fixed. Till last week. Again, lazy over the summer combined with being home all the time and not using the root killer. Made up for a slow line on Monday. I immediately dumped root killer in and did not use the water for 5 hours. Lines were running great by nighttime. Then this morning I awaken to him plunging the lines AGAIN. Except he does not know what he is doing and does a half assed job in doing it. My toilet is all scratched up from the snake because he doesn't know what he is doing. He comes in the bedroom and tells me my bathroom is unusable and he will take the kids to his parents. WTF AGAIN. This happens about once a week where I have to get involved. He plunges the toilet EVERY SINGLE DAY. Get a freaking clue. USE LESS TOILET PAPER. Of course I am pissed now. As usual I have to take care of it. Go in the bathroom and he has made a mess. Toilet water EVERYWHERE. Bowl scratched even more and overflowing. I grab the toilet snake and have it cleared in 15 mins. He needs to learn that in order to use a snake that you have to work it and rotate it to clear a clog and punch through it. Then you have to flush it enough to flush the clog through. I was also treated to him cussing me out and calling ME nasty names because I had to fix it. Which really has me pissed off because I have about had it. The clearing of the toilet has now sent me back into contractions and I am sure my bp is through the roof now. Which is NOT good because I have an ob appt at 10. I have a feeling I am going to be sent to the hospital for a NST and possibly admission if it doesn't come down. When I tried to express to him when I was done that THANK YOU was an appropriate response. He decided to be an ass and be all patronizing. We should worship the ground you walk on. I think part of this is I grew up in a house where we didn't have money and had to make do. If we didn't fix it, it didn't get fixed. I can fix a toilet. I can replace a toilet. I can unfreeze pipes and know how to fix one when it breaks. His dad took care of everything. Clogs the toilet, dad is there to fix it. You know what, for once, I would like to have someone take care of me!

Then he had the audacity to sit there and tell me this morning that I had not cleaned house. Yeah you are right. Because yesterday I made cupcakes for my family to enjoy. It was too much. Oh wait, just because I am not home doesn't mean I don' t have a job to do. Because I do work even though it is from home. You forget that I ran to the bank, mailed out bills, paid bills, took Kirsten to dance, picked Sara up from daycare, made dinner, got the girls ready to eat, cleaned off the island where they ate, took the trash bag out of the trashcan and tied it off, gave Sara a bath and meds, checked Kirsten's temp and gave her meds, mediated fights, and other things that I have forgotten about. I did absolutely nothing yesterday. This isn't a 10th of what I do in a day. Then he said maybe I should leave. You know what, pack your ass up and go to your momma. I really don't care right now. My life will be much easier.

He is bent out of shape because some of the stuff that I take care of he had to do this weekend. Kirsten's girl scout cookies came in. So I spent Monday night sorting through them all, putting each set in a separate bag with a sticky note that had name, what they ordered, what they owed, and how many boxes. Why did I do that? Because I knew he couldn't handle reading an order form and giving them the right boxes. Again rush rush rush, do it halfassed and it is wrong. Sorry, I can't walk around and do that right now. You need to spend some time with your daughter to do this. I asked him to help me go to BJ's for more tp (surprise) and some other things. He decided that now all of a sudden it was imperative to clean my car out. He would not get off of it. He doesn't drive my car (at least now anyway) because a NORMAL person would move a POWER seat back when getting into it. Not my dh. He gets in stretches his legs, leans back as hard as he can and broke my seat. I am 5'5. He is 6'4. So it is quite a gap. I can fix my seat. I just have to superglue the knob that holds the seat together back on and super glue the lever. I cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom on Friday night. I did not do the floor. It was too much. I asked him if he could please mop the floor. It is still not done. I asked him several weeks ago to please clean the toilet. He goes and it goes EVERYWHERE and I am not his momma. It sat for three weeks till I got so disgusted I cleaned it. Only to have him mess it up within 2 hours. he got mad and said it wasn't him but the girls. Umm sorry but we don't have aimers. The bathroom stayed SPOTLESS for 6 weeks while you were gone this summer.

Oh and his mother expects me to go testify in her deposition. I have nothing to say. I never talked with anyone but dh. I have to take an entire morning off to deal with this. Wonder if I can get a medical excuse and get out of it.

Don't get me wrong, I love my dh. He just needs to chill and HELP.

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