Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Wow, I can't believe I just did this...

I deleted my account with an online group that I have been apart of for three years now. I was part of the July expecting club but moved to the June playgroup because S was born early. I don't usually let people get to me. Anyway, the group has quite a bit of shall we say vocal and brash women. It seems that there have been cliques that have developed over the last 3 years. Enough that there has been a huge falling out and some people have left. I never would have thought I would be one of THOSE people. I mean it's just an online group. People you have never met in real life right??? One poor woman left this week because she wasn't feeling the love. Now in the group's defense, she did say she was taking some time off from the board. SO no one thought to really check in on her. That really upset her that no one checked in on her. So she left. Some people were really sad that she felt that way and left. Some of the witchy people were pretty unkind. Increasingly this week, I have thought wow this is so mean.

One woman earlier this week I defended. There is another woman that is extremely brash and mean. This woman was stating that she felt like she had lost a parent (admin resigned). The mean woman said she didn't need parents. I said wow that was mean because she said it meaner than I put here. It took a life of its own. Not even worth discussing.

So I had posted about how I had such a hard time with the referral/billing clerk at my ob's. She has been truly awful each time I have dealt with her. Three times over the last 4 years. All of a sudden I had people jumping all over me. So I deleted my account. I was on it way too much anyway and it is just a source of stress that I don't need to deal with anyway. The people that I talked with all the time have my email address anyway. I didn't do any big hurrahs like the other people have done. Didn't mass email anyone that I was leaving. I just deleted the account. It will show up as a guest instead of a member. I'll probably eventually go back, but because I can't really deal with it right now, don't need the stress, and need a break it will be awhile. I am wondering what is going on, but not enough to be brought back on.

I got the most wonderful uplifting email from an old friend I helped out not long ago that reminded me of the true things in life. This poor woman has been to hell and back. She had a pe pregnancy and lost the baby. Then had another pregnancy and lost that baby as well. It made me so sad. Here she is with no babies offering support to one that already has 2 and one on the way. She said some incredibly kind words to lift my spirits when they needed to be lifted. It's amazing how ONE person can make a difference. I don't think she'll even know how much her email meant to me even though I tried to tell her. She tried to tell me that my emails to her when she lost her babies brought her some comfort during her darkest days. WOW. I never knew. I was just worried about her. One baby is bad enough, but two. Life is totally not fair.

I am really sad that I felt I needed to stoop so low as to delete my account. However, it is best for me and the kiddo. Don't need my bps going higher AT ALL.

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