Very Sad News

I am saddened to say that we lost our baby at 13 weeks 3 days. I went to my peri appt on Thursday 2/21 and there was no heartbeat. It has been absolutely devestating for us because we thought we were safe and in the 2nd trimester. Just hearing the heartbeat the week before, well you can imagine. I had the flu last week and infection after infection. I am still fighting infections, bronchitis and now a raging UTI. The drs think this is what did us in. I was so excited to get to see our baby on a level II US at my peri's office. The only problem was there was no heartbeat. I still see my baby fully formed on a 50 inch screen on the Peri's office wall. The tech simply told me I am sorry there is no heartbeat. I honestly was in shock. I had my 2 year old with me because she needed one more day home before going back to daycare. My peri came in and verified and went and called my ob. My ob talked with me on the phone and asked me to come to the office. So I drove the 45 minutes back. I told him I wanted everything taken care of as soon as possible. I cried the entire night. They scheduled me for a d&c during my ob's lunch hour on Friday.

I cried all the way to the hospital on Friday. I cried when I arrived on L&D and they asked my name. The nurse took me to a private room. She let me cry for a good 15 minutes and then told me about her daughter. Another nurse came in and tried to give me some support group/study information for recurrent miscarriage. Only two problems, this was my first one. I was already doing the aspirin that they were testing in the study. I did get upset with this nurse because she referred to my baby as an embryo. I informed her that my baby was NOT an embryo but a baby with arms, legs, body, head on a screen. I was too far along to be an embryo. The baby had died the day before the peri said as the baby measured 13 weeks. My ob came up to see me and I cried again. I cried the whole way to the or. The transporter told me there wasn't a lot he could do for me but he would give me the best and easiest ride there. I got down to the or suites and saw my friend as the recovery room nurse. She cried with me. Then the nurse anesthesiologist told me she was going to give me something to help me and knocked me out. I don't remember anything else until I woke up in recovery. I ended up hemmoraging afterwards which was quickly fixed with another bag of fluids and doubling the pit. I ended up going home around 530 that night.

I spent all of Saturday sleeping and most of Sunday. The crying is getting a little less. I am just really hurt and devestated. Sunday, I ended up in the ER because I was having too much pain for a d&c and I started running a fever. They ran a bunch of tests and discovered my uterus is filled with blood and debris. They talked with my ob and he rx'd methergine. All that did was give me bad cramps and diareah.

I followed up with my ob today. The decision is to do watchful waiting. He could do another D&C but that starts the whole process over again. He knows we want ttc again as soon as possible. The same thing may happen again with the clots and blood. So he started me on Augmentin to kill my bronchitis that I have now (as a result of the flu) and prevent a uterine infection. I am to watch for more pain and fevers and call immediately if it happens. Then the office called and said my cultures from the ER show a raging UTI. So if I am not feeling better by Friday, I have to call and I guess do more antibiotics. I also found out today that he sat in recovery with me. I had no idea. Course, I did not open my eyes in recovery at all.

So we start again. I have to wait for the dam of blood clots to burst and then when the bleeding stops, we can ttc again. Hopefully it will not take long. My ob says it is just one of those things that happened. Not anything anyone did wrong. So pray that it won't take long and that we can get through this and that the time passes by for us quickly. Pray that we have a healthy baby and pregnancy again. My ob doesn't think it will take long as we have gotten pregnant on the first try twice now and the second try once. I have a good feeling for the next one. I hope everyone has that good feeling for us too.