Cycle day 1

Well we are now officially ttc! Today is cycle day 1. I am absolutely shocked that after coming off the BCP (which was taken for endo, irregular periods, constant bleeding), I went straight into a completely freaking normal cycle!!! No bleeding in between whatsoever. WTH? Hopefully since AF arrived as scheduled that ovulation will too. I have 35 ovulation test strips just to make sure and 9 pregnancy sticks. If this period follows like before S, then it will last 6-7 days. Ovulation should occur in about 13 days for me. YEAH. I kind of feel sick about getting pregnant again and the what ifs go through my head. I am desparately worried that something bad will happen. However, I have excellent drs. Between my pcp, obgyn, and peri, I am in great hands. Something new is that I will start pregnancy off with good bp on bp meds. So maybe that will give my placenta a chance.

The thing is my time is limited. The endo specialist has said you need to get pregnant and get pregnant immediately OR have a hysterectomy. Two docs have now recommended that. So guess how easy that decision is. I worry about work. I don't have a ton of leave. I have enough with a disability program to make it last a while. Basically about 3 months. I am going to get a note for the first trimester from my pcp restricting me traveling period. I travel a lot for my job, but I want to be close to home. With S, I was on a business trip for two weeks between 6-8 weeks and had two separate episodes of bleeding. The first time I tried to take it easy and it went away after a day. A week later, I had been taking it easy staying in bed and it had been a couple of days of bleeding. Since I was out of state, I called the 24 hr nurse line and she authorized me to go to the nearest ER. They determined I had a posterior fibroid (that is now suspected adenomyosis) that was close to the cervix causing the bleeding. The ER dr wanted to admit me for observation, but I begged him to go back to the hotel. I could not miss any part of a class I was taking and missing even an hour is cause to fail you. I had waited a year for this class. He let me go home on the condition that I did no lifting, walking, stair climbing. Go to class and put my feet up the entire time. Drink plenty of fluids. Go to bed and order food in when out of class. I could NOT wait to get on a plane to go home. So because I travel on day trips and for business trips frequently, I am getting a note stating no trips period outside of my work area. I feel pretty confident she will write it. I would ask from my ob and I probably will ask him to write one too. However, my boss knows which dr is my ob. She would suspect pregnancy. I don't want anyone to know until I HAVE to tell. They gave me such a hard time last time. I hated that.

I am also going to make use of the work from home program. My boss hates it. I did it successfully for 2 1/2 years before transferring into my current position (same office). I think she may be more open to it. It helps that not a single pregnant woman within my agency has been turned down for it which sets precedence. When discussing it, she has mentioned that she hates it but for me may let me do it. In fact, my work makes fun of a computer program that we used to upload stuff to the internet. I am the only one that knows the ins and outs of it. For some reason, I really like using it. Everyone else hates it. They can't figure it out without me standing on top of them instructing them. So they have been saying yeah when she gets pregnant (I have made no secret of my desire of another one, just when is the question), they say I can do bedXXXX. Get it, bedrest. So they took bed as the first part and then the last part of the program. I also am a manager of another program. I am the only one in my agency who has access to this program and runs it. No one else knows how. The best part of it is that 90% of it can be done from any internet location. I am going to have to work on a proposal for her so that I can get that approved. It will mean doing some of the crappy jobs, but hey I would be doing it from home, so how crappy would it really be? I have to show how it will benefit her. I bought a printer awhile ago that does, copying, scanning, faxing, printing. I set up wireless as well. My printer and laptop are wireless as well. She let me work from home on OT this summer. So, I think I can get her to be on my side, I just have to figure out how I can make it look really really good for her. I do know that when I tell that I am pregnant, I am going to take her aside and say that I still want to be a productive person and willing to do whatever. She won't be able to get away with me taking several months off because of that one program I do that no one else knows how to do. So I would be willing to work part-time on that, if she would be willing to allow me to telework if I need to go on bedrest. She is getting to retire Jan 1st 2009, so maybe since she is leaving, she may have a bit of softening to her.

My boss knows about my gyn issues. She has had some as well (endo - she completely understood me taking time off for this and shoved me out the door when I was in to much pain to work, uterine cancer, etc). She also knows my time is limited. I have not mentioned to her that I was told to get pregnant and as quick as possible from 2 drs. I did tell her about the hysterectomy options. I kind of wanted to know what that was like from someone that had one. I hope that maybe she will see it as it was get pregnant now or have hysterectomy too and maybe will have her a bit more sympathetic than she was last time. I do know that she and the assistant chief are going to be pissed about negotations as I have gained a reputation as a good negotiator. I had contractors calling a couple of weeks ago because I stepped in for a coworkers negotiations. She was out of town and I stepped in. Apparently, the contractors and our project team were stunned with it. I was shocked when I heard about it. For once everyone was applauding for me being a ball buster as they put it. The contractor was trying to pull one over on us and I called them on it and then told them how the situation was going to be resolved. So the the contractor's president called the acting chief and asked how our negotiations process worked with the different negotiators? Then he asked if I was going to be on any other negotiations. LMAO when he told me. I guess that impressed the heck out of my bosses. Contractor was not happy that I would be in on future negotiations. Wait till they find out that I have been assigned as the negotiator for their new $50 million dollar project. He he he he. After these knuckleheads called, the assistant chief came over to tell me of the conversation. He said since I was such a ball buster with them that he wanted me to oversee the negotiations on their new project. He needed someone that would make the contractor tow the line and keep costs in line and the project team in line. Before, we had someone in there that basically slept through negotiations. Ever since then the assistant chief has been assigning me the tough negotiations. However, my boss (the chief) has caught wind of this and is making him start to reassign work to the other girl because she needs the experience (she has to stay awake first!). So I do bring something to the table. Oh and I have project teams wanting me on their negotiations because of what they saw in that one. I can be fair and stuff, but when I see you intentionally screwing around with us, I will not let you get away with it. This contractor put something along the lines of his proposal that the costs were too much work to document, so he was just going to charge it to us. My response when questioning them and finding this out was if it is too much to document, then it is too much work for us to pay it. Document the expenses or you don't get paid. The project manager was going to LET THEM get away with it. He started with umm, we might have a problem with this line item. WHAT? No on something like this you tell them straight. At that point I took over the negotiations (the only reason I let him lead was because I was sitting in. The new project I will lead all negotiations period. Project managers do not lead my negotiations. They are there for technical advice only) and said no it's not might, we DO have a problem with this line item. Then I finished it up with the above. The contractor was so caught off guard he had no idea what to say. Pretty much people had been letting them do what they want. So wait till they get a taste of it on the new contract. They will be justifying each and every expense. I was astounded at how much they were getting away with. Where were the people who should have been opening their mouths about this? So anyway, got off the subject here.

Pain has been very bad for the last couple of days and today. At least AF is here now and Iknow that eventually there will be an end for this in a couple of days. God willing, I won't have to do it again for 9 months. I think I may throw up when I get the BFP. I mean at least this time I have a slew of specialists. It's just I can't help it. I know when I call the OBGYN's office and say hi I would like to make an appt with Dr. E. Are you a current patient? Yes. What is the appt for? Pregnancy. Then I know I will be the talk of the office. No one that was there when I was pregnant has forgotten me. My file for me being there for the last 3 1/2 years (it does include my prior records) is TWO INCHES thick!!!

The good news I can look forward to 4d US, my hospital just got this. I think a high risk pe pregnancy would warrant one of these! My peri has a Starbucks next door to her!!!!!