33 weeks! HAPPY NEW YEAR

Yes Happy New Year!!!

This week has been hard emotionally because it hit me all of a sudden that OMG I could be having a baby in 2 weeks. So far things are stable. My peri even said something about using her new US machines on me after they are installed on the 12th. Which makes me think she thinks I may get further this time. I have been sad that this will be our last baby. It makes me sad that I really don't get to make that decision. For my health, it would be wise to go ahead with the hysterectomy probably in a year. I am terrified of what the future will bring. I do know the obsessive worrying of HCG numbers, progesterone levels, MC, bp issues, PE are things I don't want to worry about ever again. To think I would actually get to use my leave for actual vacations instead of bedrest/maternity leave is quite exciting. I am never able to build my leave because for 10 years, we have been having babies. We can actually go on long vacations now!

I do want to keep her in as long as possible. I am daresaying dreaming of 38 weeks. I think I am ok with 38 weeks. I want her to come on 2/1 just so she can say superbowl baby and to also have a baby in the same month as my due date. Not sure what my drs are planning. I think they are planning to cut it out at 37 weeks.

I am terribly worried about after delivery and the endometriosis. I plan to discuss that with my ob in the next week. I hope to start the BCP regimen as soon as I can. I worry it will screw up my system. We can not let any of the lesions get active. Since we know it is there. We need to suppress it till I can have a hysterectomy. It does make me sad to do something permanent. I can NOT go through endo like I have the last couple of years.

So I had my ob and peri appts this week. Baby's HB looked good. I got a birth plan to fill out. The last time I did a birth plan, I was scared to fill it out with MY wishes because I thought I would be on mag and unable to do all the things I wanted. This time, I filled it out with everything I wanted. I figure they will tell me if I can't do something. I even asked to cut the umbilical cord since dh refuses to do that because he is so sqeamish. I asked to touch her hair as she is crowning - peri and sono tech tell me she has TONS of hair (how exciting the girls were bald). I asked to get her right away and for the first 4 hours. Depending on when she is born, I may not get her for 4 hours. I desparately want to get to 37 weeks + this time.

Anyway, everything looked good at both. My ob and I discussed preventing PPD next time. I wanted to start something now to prevent it. He recommended starting something the day of delivery. He recommends Effexor. I have read it works super fast but is hard to get off of. So I am going to ask him about that at my next appt. I also want to go over preventing infection and post partum hemmorage. I want antibiotics at delivery to prevent infection that I am sure to get. 2 out of 2 for deliveries I had a uterine infection. The only time I didn't get an infection with the laps was when I had antibiotics. I am terrified of hemmoraging again. I will never forget the gushing and lifting up the sheets and seeing ALL that blood. I was totally freaked. Dh was totally freaked. The nurses were cool as cucumbers. I got cleaned up quick and was given extra fluids and pit. Of course I am worried about pe. He told me he would not use mag unless he had to, meaning spilling lots of protein, symptoms, high bp. That still makes me nervous as this pregnancy is following scarily the way Kirsten did. It hit all of a sudden with her. I did not feel good having 168 in my urine catch. It was actually probably higher than that though as I cheated and did not want to have to redo the catch. I missed two early morning urine catches as Sara decided to stay up all night and in my tiredness forgot to use a hat.

My ob said he'll run another one in a couple of weeks unless I become symptomatic. Then one gets run asap. I'm still on bedrest which sucks. I have been trying to follow it. There is so much to do. I am waiting for my bp to take off. I have noticed it is fluctuating. Not good.

Right now I am pretty comfortable and wanting to keep her in forever. Ask me how I feel in a couple of weeks. Baby's estimated weight is 5lbs.