What on earth was I thinking?

What on earth was I thinking that bedrest could be a vacation. Yeah it sounded good for about a week. Now I am sick of it. There is NOTHING on tv to watch. Hardly anything to watch on Netflix because I have already rented everything that is new and watched it. Note - if your dh says that this is a great movie, ignore him. His suggestions have been stupid movies. Tropic Thunder should be up for millions of razzies as should be Happenings. I have watched how to rehab a cruise ship in a week. That was actually interesting. Tornado chasers =very stupid people who have a death wish. Jim Jones masacre. Hmmmm, happened before I was even born. Interesting. Hulk Hogan's E story. My days and nights are all mixed up. I stay up at night and sleep during the day.

So I had my ob and peri appt this past week. I see the peri every week now. Still on a every 2 weeks with my ob. Last week I was desparately ill with some wierd funky stomach flu virus that lasted a week. I was the ONLY one to get it in my family. Constant puking even sips of water. After 3 hours of this, I called my ob because I had to keep fluids down because of the stone and BH contractions. Well the nurse was giving me a hard time. For the first time ever, I really put it to my ob because I got pissed. When I first called, she said he was at the hospital and would talk to him when he came back. He comes back and orders Reglan. HELLO, I was already doing that (doubled the dose actually) and I couldn't even keep down water. So she goes and talks to him again and I request zofran. She comes back and says he will only order reglan as everything else was constrained in pregnancy. REALLY, this is news to me. I explain to her every which way that I am already doing that. In retrospect, I should have just sucked it up and gone to the ER instead of dealing with it. Anyway, she talks to him again. He says not much more to do. Drink fluids (which I couldn't keep down) and take reglan. Then she offers me a suppository. Fine and throw in a urine culture in it. Had to fight to get a urine culture. Can someone explain to me how zofran was now constrained?

Thought maybe it might be a kidney infection. So go do the urine culture. No rx at the lab. Lab calls her and she had faxed to the wrong lab. Have it now faxed to the right lab. Not sure how that happened as there are only TWO labs in town. One being the hospital. Go to the pharmacy. They know me there from when I was pregnant with Sara and on so much zofran. I must have looked bad. They had me sit down and told me if I had to puke, let them know. No rx for the suppository. The pharmacy calls the dr's office and she tells them I refused all meds. WTF. All meds? No, I refused reglan which was what I was already taking and was not working. So she gets my ob to give me the rx for compazine. Fastest rx ever filled.

Go home and take it. Finally after puking from 530am on, I stopped at 3pm. I still stayed sick from Thursday to Wednesday of the next week. Had an ob appt and the same nurse that I was on the phone with said I looked awful. Really, only been puking and nauseated for days now. She said my color looked off and really bad. Ugh. See my ob. He is not happy and I am not happy. So I ask him how come it was ok for THIS office to order 40 zofran a month when I was pregnant with Sara but now I can't take it? Also had it by iv several times this pregnancy with kidney infections. He squirmed for a bit. Then he said he that it needed preauthorization. Umm wrong again. I am allowed 10 zofran a month without authorization. Frankly, I would have paid out of pocket for the generic one. Which I found out was CHEAPER than compazine. He said with Sara he remembered it was a pain to get insurance authorization for it. Yeah but you have my records and it should be easy to copy the same thing for it. So we agreed he would start the authorization process for me. :)

He told me he really thought this was a virus and that I needed to push as many fluids as possible. I asked to get an iv so I could get the fluids. Again pesky insurance. He said insurance wouldn't pay for it as my labs from FIVE days before were ok. I think since it was Tuesday, he just wanted to be able to go home early. He did write another order and rxs for compazine and reglan. He gave advice on what to advoid to quit throwing up. He was right, it was a nasty virus. It was still miserable just the same.

As far as my peri appt, baby girls is in the 67th percentile for growth. She is huge!!! He tells me she is not huge, but good sized which is good. To me, she is huge and I am glad! They did a transvaginal US at the peri's because of all my contractions. I am not sure what is going on. When she measured my cervix, the tech acted all concerned. She wouldn't tell me anything. She said I would have to talk with my peri. Usually, they are happy to tell me everything is great. She didn't do that. The tech was also pissed I hadn't been checked yet. Apparently, nurses at my hospital are no longer allowed to do that anymore. My peri just said everything was ok for now. They didn't know what I started out with, so they were not sure. I remember the measurement as 2.04cms for the cervix. Well I went and looked that up and it shouldn't be less than 2.5cms! She did say I am on rest. I was not to be on my feet. She explained what that meant to dh. She gave us some ideas to help out at home. They told me to watch especially for extra discharge, extra mucous, any leaking or anything and it needs to be reported asap. So I guess I have some cervical changes going on. I plan to find out more on Friday when I go back. I mentioned the TV US to my ob. He asked what my peri said about it. I told him she said it was ok for now. He seemed to know I had a TV US done (maybe it was in the report). He said ok kind of relieved like. That was it. See ya in 2 weeks.

So the next day another peri appt for a NST. Baby was non reactive on the NST although she was moving tons. The nurse said that happens at this age. 50% are non reactive and that I will be scanned every week. Umm ok. From what I read, non reactive NST are 50% up to 28 weeks. Then 28-32 weeks, 15% are non reactive. After 32 weeks, it is delivery time for a non reactive NST. Fabulous. So I had a BPP done. She scored 8/10. She lost 2 points because of the NST. See ya in a week.

So next peri appt is next Friday and it will be a long appt because I have all the stuff done at this one. I have decided when I see my ob on the 9th that I am asking him to take me out of work completely. I am very fortunate and grateful to be able to work from home the last 2 months. However, it is getting harder to control my bp and I have to lay on my left side to do it. I also have a lot of swelling going on. Still have some nausea. TONS of heartburn. Besides I have decided I am about sick of new boss.

I have been relegated to intern status. I am used to running my own projects. I have him interfering on every single project, micromanaging every single thing I do. He is inexperienced and does not know what he is doing. We have an entire office full of people and from what I understand, they are all sitting on their asses sleeping because he does not have enough experience to train them. He seriously has a GS 5 admin tech training people many grades above her. On what I have no idea. He thinks I am going to start all these contracts in the next couple of weeks for them to follow. I did feel sorry for him at first. When he continually asks my advice and then says that's nice and does something opposite. Well figure it out. I heard that one of my coworkers that is at another agency is trying to get a job in Maine and has interviewed for it. If she gets it, I am applying for her job. There is nothing keeping me here now. My new boss asked if I were coming back. Umm for now. Are you actively seeking a job (for me to know and for him not to find out), no. If I happen to see something, I will not let it pass me by. Guess that is honest enough. Things have just swung too far in the other direction. I have a real problem when I see something that is not correct, standing by and watching it happen. I think it is time to part ways. I won't do it till I have another job lined up. I also told new boss, I will not be back till the middle of May. Good thing the union allows us to stay out for a year! I guess in some ways, God works in mysterious ways. So I am thinking I am going out on 12 December. I will not be available by phone or email.

So I snuck out Thanksgiving day and went to Kmart. What joy it was to go to a store!!! I knew that I could get in and out. We wanted a WII. I got it with several board games, wii games, ect. I was home in an hour. I paid for it with contractions for the rest of the day!!! BAD GIRL. I have been good since then.

Oh and why is my peri's new office located right next to a MALL. So not fair.

I stayed up on Thanksgiving night. I ordered a new nintendo ds with games for me and dh to share. HOORAY. Got it on Amazon with free shipping. Amazon rocked it this year. I also have a bike/jogging stroller coming for 50% off and free shipping and bunches of other things.

DH has now taken over most things. He goes grocery shopping with lists that I make. This time only one call. He buys the girls shoes. He is helping with Kirsten's school projects. He is being Mr. Mom. All he wants is a thank you once in a while.

So that's my update. On rest as much as possible and completely off my feet for now for bp issues and preterm labor. Pray she stays in for another 7 weeks please till 36 weeks. Can't deliver at my hospital unless she is 35 weeks.

More problems

So since yesterday, I have a headache. I have been taking tylenol around the clock. Like drinking water. Nada. Trace protein yesterday, 1+ this morning. 1+ this afteroon. Then 1+ tonight with 1+ leukocytes and trace blood. Called my ob's office at 3 pm because I felt awful. I felt like I had the flu. My head was pounding. My bp was up. I was nauseated. I had the nose bleed from hell last night. I noticed it bleeding last night. Then I sneezed. Blood went EVERYWHERE. Freaked me out and so much for my shirt. I was more worried about the couch! Luckily all on the shirt and the napkin that I grabbed (which was soaked). It lasted for 40 mins. Twice when I took the pressure off of it because it was backing up, clots came out. It finally stopped after 40 mins. So I called the dr's office this afternoon after still not feeling better. He wasn't in so they had to call him. He ordered me back to bed and Tylenol 3. Dh was gone on a day trip today. So I had to get the girls from school ( all of this with a pounding crushing headache). I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up the rx. Then when I left to go get Sara from the pharmacy, guess who pulls behind me. Yep my ob. Great, busted as I was supposed to be in bed, but I had no one to pick up the girls. Go to daycare where I turn off. Go get Sara. Drop off at inlaws where dh is already there. Go home take meds, go to bed. Only I can't sleep because I slept for 4 hours today. So I am now laying on the couch. Typing this laying down. I have my laptop on the ottoman in case you are wondering.

Also tonight I noticed I had leukocytes and blood in my urine. So I called my urologist's office. So now I am wondering if I have an infection and that is why I feel like crap. They call in the urinalysis to the lab. However, any meds will be ordered by my ob. Which is NOT what they told me. The plan was that if I thought I had one they would call in a rx for antibiotics to the pharmacy and have me do a urinalysis for culture. If the culture came back negative they would stop antibiotics. If they came back positive, then I was good. So that is pretty frustrating. I'm going to test in the morning and see if the strip is coming up.

My head feels better now. It is not completely gone.

26 Week 6 Day OB Appt

Ok, I am so miserable from the heartburn and rib pain. My poor ob, he just heard me whine about how miserable I am. My bps suck. I am hitting 90s/100 on the bottom. However, he wants me to watch it for another week and call if they don't drop. He'll add in procardia, which neither of us wants. Although procardia will help with the BH. He gave me scripts for heartburn medicine and for the rib pain (Tylenol 3). He didn't have the Er report. So he had a nurse pulling it because he wanted to review my labs and US. He asked what they checked for. I told him blood clots in the lung, gallbladder, and liver. I told him they gave me nothing but a discharge for 650mg of Tylenol. I told him I had taken the leftover Tylenol 3 for the rib pain Saturday night and last night. Tylenol in between. He said that was ok. He said probably gave you some sleep. As for the BH, he is a little worried about those. I didn't get checked (I didn't want to anyway, hate getting naked). He just looked at my log. I am to call if they are in a pattern (which they went into this week) and then if they last longer than 2 hours. If they last longer than 2 hours, then I need to get checked. Drink lots of water and rest rest rest rest rest. I am not on strict bedrest, but he wants me resting as much as possible for bp and the bh. I was telling you know I don't know too much about these, I was induced both times. I don't know what to do with these. Sometimes these stop me in my tracks. This is miserable. He agreed they are miserable. I am to call if they change, get closer together, are in a pattern or last longer than 2 hours. ugggh, I had them off and on all day yesterday. With her being breech, he said we don't really worry about that till 34 weeks. I told him I was convinced that she is staying that way. SHE NEVER MOVES OUT OF MY RIBS. Told him she freaked out the US Tech because her head was by my gallbladder. He said most of them do go head down by 34 weeks. I start my weekly peri appts next week and he was like oh good. Oh and then he asked me about the GTT. I said oh no, you had me do a 3 hour which I was NOT happy about it. I am NOT doing that again. He checked he said that was just 2 weeks ago. He said I did beautifully for it. I asked him if I had to do that again. He said nope. Once you pass it, you pass it. So I was supposed to go back in 2 weeks, however, the office is closed on Thursday (Thanksgiving) and Friday. I guess he is not seeing patients and taking a vacation on the Tuesday before because the receptionist said that he wasn't in that day (the other day he is in the office). So I see him next on 12/2 at 29 1/2 weeks. I guess that works because I see the peri on Fridays and my ob on Tuesdays now. He hadn't checked my report yet when he wrote out the rxs. So he is going to have a look at it later and if he thinks something is off, he will call. I'm bummed about being on even more rest. That just sucks. Dh isn't being very helpful lately as he thinks I am being lazy and says it must be nice.

Ong Rant about DH

So feel free to skip it. Don't get me wrong, I love my dh. He is a great father. However, I can't stand him lately. I feel under appreciated. Quite frankly I am SICK TO DEATH OF IT. I bust my tail to keep the house clean, only for it to get destroyed by the kids and more from HIM. This week has been awful. I have had contractions off and on. My ribs have been killing me. I feel he is unsupportive and a complete asshole right now. Everything with him is always rush, rush, rush. It's not my fault. It doesn't help that he has an undiagnosed anxiety disorder that needs to be medicated. There is nothing wrong with anxiety. In fact, I am about ready to ask my ob for meds myself. I feel like I have a 3rd kid around here. So what has been going on?

1) He has a sailor's mouth and a drill sergeant's bite. Everything that comes out of his mouth is a curse word. Which our lovely 3 year old daughter has so lovingly picked up. FABULOUS. I am not innocent in this either. However, I TRY really hard not to. EVERYTHING is done in Mr. Drill Sergeant's voice. These are little kids. You screaming at them for doing a kid thing or not moving fast enough or not whatever scares the living beejees out of them. I don't like hearing it, so why would they. They are small. You are big. Get it? This morning, I can hear him clearly yelling at Kirsten at 7:50am that she was to go get her coat. Not hey go get your coat. YELLING IT. When Kirsten came inside (because now I am contracting AGAIN), I told her to tell her dad to please stop yelling the neighborhood can hear him. He comes in yelling at me and says he was not yelling. I said yes you were I could hear every word you said clearly. If I can hear it, so can the neighbors. No wonder our one neighbor moved. He asked me what he said. I repeated it verbatim. He didn't say anything. Then he said we needed to talk tonight. Um no, you just need to STOP. It's easy. He has a xanax rx but has NOT been taking it.

2) I am sick of him saying it must be nice to be on the couch. Yeah. I am vegetating on the couch to keep this baby in for another 9 weeks. Sorry it's an inconvenience to you. It would be better than not being admitted to the hospital for the duration. Which would you prefer?

• 3) Sewer line. I have no idea why my dh requires massive amounts of toilet paper to wipe his butt. He will seriously go through an entire double roll of Charmin in ONE FREAKING TRIP. I keep wet toilet wipes in the bathroom for that oh so nice clean feeling. Yet he uses an entire roll. Tuesday, I noticed our washer was backing up. It empties into the laundry sink which empties into the sewer line. Hmmmm. We have ONE bathroom (Our next house WILL have 2 1/2 or more). Dh just came back from tdy again. I am sure he has CLOGGED the line again with his excessive toilet paper useage again. This time it is in the line. There is a small root at the city line that needs to be fixed. It is on city property. It is not on mine. However, they refuse to fix it. I refuse to dig up lines and spend 2k. So the solution is to dump root killer in once a month. No problems for several years till I got lazy last winter and didn't do it. Then after we lost the baby, the sewer backed up too. So fil and I track down to the local rental place and get a sewer snake. It costs $35 to rent. It is very heavy and dirty work. DH has NEVER EVER snaked the sewer. Nor has he cleaned the mess up. So we snaked it. Fil helped me clean up. Line fixed. Till last week. Again, lazy over the summer combined with being home all the time and not using the root killer. Made up for a slow line on Monday. I immediately dumped root killer in and did not use the water for 5 hours. Lines were running great by nighttime. Then this morning I awaken to him plunging the lines AGAIN. Except he does not know what he is doing and does a half assed job in doing it. My toilet is all scratched up from the snake because he doesn't know what he is doing. He comes in the bedroom and tells me my bathroom is unusable and he will take the kids to his parents. WTF AGAIN. This happens about once a week where I have to get involved. He plunges the toilet EVERY SINGLE DAY. Get a freaking clue. USE LESS TOILET PAPER. Of course I am pissed now. As usual I have to take care of it. Go in the bathroom and he has made a mess. Toilet water EVERYWHERE. Bowl scratched even more and overflowing. I grab the toilet snake and have it cleared in 15 mins. He needs to learn that in order to use a snake that you have to work it and rotate it to clear a clog and punch through it. Then you have to flush it enough to flush the clog through. I was also treated to him cussing me out and calling ME nasty names because I had to fix it. Which really has me pissed off because I have about had it. The clearing of the toilet has now sent me back into contractions and I am sure my bp is through the roof now. Which is NOT good because I have an ob appt at 10. I have a feeling I am going to be sent to the hospital for a NST and possibly admission if it doesn't come down. When I tried to express to him when I was done that THANK YOU was an appropriate response. He decided to be an ass and be all patronizing. We should worship the ground you walk on. I think part of this is I grew up in a house where we didn't have money and had to make do. If we didn't fix it, it didn't get fixed. I can fix a toilet. I can replace a toilet. I can unfreeze pipes and know how to fix one when it breaks. His dad took care of everything. Clogs the toilet, dad is there to fix it. You know what, for once, I would like to have someone take care of me!

Then he had the audacity to sit there and tell me this morning that I had not cleaned house. Yeah you are right. Because yesterday I made cupcakes for my family to enjoy. It was too much. Oh wait, just because I am not home doesn't mean I don' t have a job to do. Because I do work even though it is from home. You forget that I ran to the bank, mailed out bills, paid bills, took Kirsten to dance, picked Sara up from daycare, made dinner, got the girls ready to eat, cleaned off the island where they ate, took the trash bag out of the trashcan and tied it off, gave Sara a bath and meds, checked Kirsten's temp and gave her meds, mediated fights, and other things that I have forgotten about. I did absolutely nothing yesterday. This isn't a 10th of what I do in a day. Then he said maybe I should leave. You know what, pack your ass up and go to your momma. I really don't care right now. My life will be much easier.

He is bent out of shape because some of the stuff that I take care of he had to do this weekend. Kirsten's girl scout cookies came in. So I spent Monday night sorting through them all, putting each set in a separate bag with a sticky note that had name, what they ordered, what they owed, and how many boxes. Why did I do that? Because I knew he couldn't handle reading an order form and giving them the right boxes. Again rush rush rush, do it halfassed and it is wrong. Sorry, I can't walk around and do that right now. You need to spend some time with your daughter to do this. I asked him to help me go to BJ's for more tp (surprise) and some other things. He decided that now all of a sudden it was imperative to clean my car out. He would not get off of it. He doesn't drive my car (at least now anyway) because a NORMAL person would move a POWER seat back when getting into it. Not my dh. He gets in stretches his legs, leans back as hard as he can and broke my seat. I am 5'5. He is 6'4. So it is quite a gap. I can fix my seat. I just have to superglue the knob that holds the seat together back on and super glue the lever. I cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom on Friday night. I did not do the floor. It was too much. I asked him if he could please mop the floor. It is still not done. I asked him several weeks ago to please clean the toilet. He goes and it goes EVERYWHERE and I am not his momma. It sat for three weeks till I got so disgusted I cleaned it. Only to have him mess it up within 2 hours. he got mad and said it wasn't him but the girls. Umm sorry but we don't have aimers. The bathroom stayed SPOTLESS for 6 weeks while you were gone this summer.

Oh and his mother expects me to go testify in her deposition. I have nothing to say. I never talked with anyone but dh. I have to take an entire morning off to deal with this. Wonder if I can get a medical excuse and get out of it.

Don't get me wrong, I love my dh. He just needs to chill and HELP.

RIBS

My right ribs hurts so bad that I am in tears right now. This baby needs to turn NOW!!!

Miserable

No one told me that breech babies make you miserable. Especially when they are so high up. Don't get me wrong, I am estatic to still be pregnant. I have been pretty miserable this last week. Contractions that last an hour to 2 hours that are patterned now and HURT. A baby stuck so high up in my ribs with her head that she is compressing them. I was cleaning out my car today of trash and came across my discharge instructions. I have no idea wtf this dr's problem was. Meds - 650mg of Tylenol every 4-6 hours. See I left so mad on Saturday that I didn't even bother to read the paperwork. WTF. Was he serious? Did he not see I was already taking 1000mg of Tylenol every 4 hours ALREADY. Umm, yeah that didn't help. So why would almost HALF the dose work. I am still pissed about that. Return if you have nausea (check), vomiting (check), worse pain (check), and several other things that I was already in there and he did nothing for. I don't usually dog out ER doctors, I am still pretty pissed about Saturday. How about we send him in excruciating pain and jab him with a wand and then tell him that geez, I don't know why that hurt.

It is much better today. I still have intense pain at times in my right ribs. Very scary for this previous PE/HELLP patient. The contractions are sucking big time. I have an ob appt tomorrow so I will find out more then. Why didn't I call the office today? My ob is off on Wednesdays and I was afraid that the midwives would send me to the ER first and then on to L&D for evaluation. Quite frankly, I have had it with the ER. I keep having the words of the urologist in my head. You can go 100 times and it be nothing, if it is the ONE time that it is something, you need to be evaluated. I wish there was an easier way and I am tempted to tell them to take that stupid stone out. Of course, the urologist was right because every time except this last was something that needed to be dealt with urgently.

Adam lived without a rib....

Ok, so if Adam could live without a rib to make Eve, I think I can totally give up mine. I am ready to cut my rib out on my right side. Found some relief in the wierdest way on the staircase. No not some wierd thing. I picked up something on the staircase going upstairs. Ours is you go to the first landing (about 12 steps), then their is a step up to a second landing and turn. Then there are about 6 steps up to the second floor. Well it was on this second set of stairs that I tried to pick something up. I had one hand at the top (second floor) while I was on the landing. It was like wow pressure and pain offf. HOORAY. I obviously can't stand on the landing of my stairs all day and night though. It helped. Put both hands at the top, stand on the landing, and stretch a bit.

I have been thinking about how I would feel about a csection if this one doesn't turn. I know they can. Ummm, time is starting to run out here. I am 26 1/2 weeks. Every single US has had her breech.

So back to Adam could live without a rib. So if Adam can live without a rib, can we just go ahead and take out 2-3 of mine? Surgery would be a couple weeks recovery versus 9-14 weeks of pregnancy left.