Houston, we have a heartbeat!!!!!!

Ahhh yes, just a flicker but it was there on my ob's old abdominal US machine at 8 1/2 weeks. Can you believe it? So I went in for my 8 week appt with my ob. Yes the dr and not the midwife this time, lol. Nothing against midwives but they are perfect for low risk patients which we all know I am not. We talked about several things. Yes it is true I am going to the peri starting at 14 weeks. He is getting the referral started now with his billing person. He said she'll call me in about 2 weeks to let me know it is done and then I can schedule my appt. YEAH another US and that means it is level II. YIPPEE. Good for low dose aspirin. He was pleased that I had started that. He agreed with the prednisone for sinus infection that never goes away. So I will be on it for the next 9 days. He also agreed with the high dose antibiotics to get rid of the sinus infection and prevent my habit of Pneumonia in the first trimester. He gave me more Reglan. Thank God. Oh and how the hell did I gain TEN pounds in 4 weeks when I have been totally nauseated. I checked tonight and my gain is actually 3 lbs on my scale. Problem was his scale coordinated to mine 4 weeks ago. So maybe his scale is off? I think he needs it serviced. Of course I have to eat every hour or I am puking.

He tried with the doppler for a heartbeat. I can't believe it. The midwife in the practice last time didn't bother trying at 9 weeks and here my doc tried at 8 1/2. I was so excited. He said don't get upset if I don't find it. That's yours, that is yours, that is yours. I said you know with S., you would just get the US machine because she was so active. He said, I'm going to get the US machine. He goes and drags it out of the supply room across the hall. (Can I say I hate it when they open and shut the door and I am covered in a sheet!!!!). He turns out the lights and I said hey doc it is really dark in here. It was pitch black. He turned on the lamp. Turned the screen so we could both see it and NOTHING. I couldn't even see a uterus. He pointed out the uterus but it didn't look like a uterus to me. You know it usually shows the black space with a baby in it. This was like all grey tones. I think it was just my abdominal fat he was looking at there. We looked and looked and looked and NOTHING. So being the determined doc that he is and me by now panicking. He said let's try a different angle and BAM there was the black cavity with a blob in it (and it wasn't where he said my uterus was. The first one where he pointed was on the lower right side of the screen. When he turned the angle, the black cavity with baby was way up in the upper left part of the screen). We were looking for movement because his machine doesn't have sound? (He has never turned on the sound for it, I'm sure he won't be able to hear baby on doppler next time too and will get the us. ). There it was for a few brief moments. The flicker. You know, looks like the little flicker things on pinball machines that you hit the ball back in with. It was amazing. The best part was only one. I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief. So did my doc. He said I think I see it, a flicker. He goes it is really early for abdominal US. Let's put it this way, I am in no way, shape, or form thin. I said I saw it too and pointed on the screen where I saw it. He said yeah that's it. So I think we confirmed for each other that we saw it. Both of us were reassured. Oh and there is only ONE. Thank God. I was really worried as I have already grown out of my clothes and am now wearing maternity jeans, bigger shirts, and bigger knit pants. It hasn't helped that my dh thought for sure it was twins, my boss mentioned twins because of me already showing, and my ortho doc saying it would be awesome for twins because he has twins. Which I related why I was worried about twins to my ob. Oh and did I mention twins runs in my family??? But alas no twins. We just want one healthy baby. I don't even care about the gender as long as we are both healthy. Time is going by so fast. The first time, it moved slowly because you are naive and pregnancy is new. The second time it moved slow because food was my enemy the entire time and my bp was not under control. This time it is going fast. BP is somewhat under control. It was 138/82 at the ob's. I think it was high because of an incident that happened at work beyond my control that I was angry about and the nurse had to take it about 8 times. The first top number she got was 122. But she couldn't get the bottom number because it is very faint in me when pregnant. So she kept inflating and inflating and deflating and then reinflating. I am not too worried. It was 124/85 at the pcp's on Monday. This was a new nurse in the practice (she was older and grey haired). She said ok, so you'll be seeing Dr. E today (as if I had never seen him before, lmao). I said oh you don't have to explain. I assure you we both know who each other are. I was one of those scary patients last pregnancy. Oh really? What was wrong? So then I told her my history. She didn't run away screaming. I have decided I like her even though it took 8 times to take my bp. She didn't freak out, she told me my bp when I asked without hesitating and she takes Ziac too! My kind of nurse. My ob is ok with me being on Ziac. He said he prefers aldomet, but if it doesn't work it doesn't work. It's not like he won't be watching me like a hawk. I asked him if he thought I would get past 36 weeks. His response, "You know, There are some women that I think man they need to be induced, you think no way are they going to get further, and then they surprise me." Such the diplomat. I'm going to ask my peri and see what she says. I know what they both said before pregnancy. But now that I am pregnant they give hope. I like that. Cause you know, I could surprise everyone.

My pcp is on board. Anytime we come in (for the girls or me), first thing she asks is what is your bp and how are YOU doing. I was in on Monday because of a sinus infection and told her I was really nauseated and on Reglan 4 times a day. She said they say nausea is a sign of a healthy pregnancy. Then I told her that my immune system goes to crap in the first trimester. She said well if you think about it, the baby is a parasite that just sucks everything from you. In order for baby to stick, your immune system has to lower. I found out that she will be the one coming to the hospital when baby is born to check he or she out. It's a great feeling to know she will be jsut as excited as we are when baby gets here. She is fabulous with my girlies. S is already playing dr, like Dr. L does with the dr kit she got for Christmas. So all in all a good appt. Next one is 2/21. We mailed out the cards to the family announcing. Hoping we get good responses back.

K is in for a rough time the next few months

Yes my 8 year old has a GI problem. For years, her peds had told me she had a behavior issue. However, no matter how much dh and I tried, it has never gone away. She was diagnosed at age 4 with encopresis. Her ped at the time did no tests but an abdominal xray which showed she was full of poop. We had to do enemas till she got cleaned out. At 8 she still poops in her underwear. Not completely pooping in pants but skidmarks sometimes bad skidmarks. I have been cleaning the underwear all this time. She always had poop issues. She was constantly constipated. Her first ped refused to do anything about it and told us it was normal. I don't think so. We trusted him how were we to know. He told us she would grow out of it. She didn't. At 4, we changed peds because he also misdiagnosed her asthma. Told us it was impossible for a child under the age of 1 to have it. Chose to be reactive instead of proactive. It was when she was 2, that I was able to get her into a specialist and I did it without his help. God Bless Dr. R. She said oh my. You poor things have been through so much. K has the worst case of asthma in town. It will take time but we will get her better. She said the ped had been negligent in not getting her into the specialist sooner.

At 4 1/2 we changed to Dr. B. Another ped, but this time she diagnosed her with encopresis. Behavior behavior behavior. She was started on lactulose. This was awful. Eventually switched to miralax. Still didn't work. We left her because of rude staff and the inability to get an appt.

At 5 we switched to Dr. L. He told us that she didn't eat enough fruits and vegetables. We left him because he told my underweight daughter that wore SLIM jeans that she was severely overweight. I hardly think so when she weighed 50 pounds at 7 1/2 years old. This resulted in a weight concsious kid not to eat for three weeks.

Now we are with our family practice dr. I love her. I called the office and requested to see the dr alone for 5 minutes before K was brought in. I also warned the staff to PLEASE NOT tell K or say anything to K about me being preggo. We want to wait till 12 weeks to tell everyone and K has a BIG mouth and can not keep any secret. They did as I asked. We got there and they brought me back and K stayed in the waiting room. As soon as I got in the room. D (nurse) came in. OMG, I just heard that you were pregnant!!! Girl you work quick. I just got your consults from Dr. H (endo specialist) and Dr. E (obgyn). She said your endo report was dated 11/12. Your visit with Dr. E was dated 12/26. It said your last period was 11/17 on the report from Dr. E. Congratulations and she gave me a HUGE hug and asked me a thousand questions. Was I going to see the peri (Dr. W). Did I want to find out the sex. OMG the girls were going to be so excited. It was really really exciting to have someone so happy for us knowing how most people would feel that I am an obsterical trainwreck waiting to happen. She left and doc came in.

Dr. L listened to everything and said that this isn't a behavioral issue. That this was a medical issue. K literally can not feel the urge to go to the bathroom. I have to tell her to go. I had to teach her to use those muscles to go. There is no feeling there for her. So Dr. L brought her in and asked her questions. K was totally embarassed but did cooperate and answer them. She listened to her belly and wrote out an order for an abdominal xray. Doc doesn't feel like it is hirsprunger syndrome but does feel certain something medically is not right. We discussed what would need to be done. A biopsy from a colonoscopy (OMG I NEVER want this done, how can I make my 8 year old do this???), a barium enema, possibly surgery (I told her about this which is a pull through procedure). If K truly does not have feeling there, then they can cut out the bad nerves and pull her colon down enough that she can have good nerve cells. None of this fun. She also is sending us to a Ped GI Specialist of hers that is a favorite. While there are probably gi specialists in other big city. She wants us to see this guy. So much so that she is getting him covered out of network for us.

Oh and she asked me how I was doing before K came in. Told her my bp was up already from prepregnancy baseline of 110/70 to 124/88. She said it wasn't too awful considering my pregnancy past, but will need to be watched. She was relieved that I was seeing a peri starting at 14-16 weeks.

So say some prayers for my little girl that maybe some medicine may help her and no surgery. She is only 8 and I can't imagine having to do the stuff that she is going to have to do soon for testing.

So it's really true!

Yes, it's official. I am so pregnant, lol. Had my first appt with the dr's office today. I had to have my first appt with a midwife. I asked her if she was running away screaming yet? She kind of laughed. Went over my history. 1st baby 36 weeks, severe pe. 2nd baby - 35 weeks 5 days, severe pih. The nurse asked me how many tests I had taken. Ummm about 20. She laughed. She said she always ask how many tests. They gave me some magazines that had cool pics of babies at each stage. Nausea started this morning. Not too bad yet. PLEASE GOD DON'T LET IT BE AS BAD AS IT WAS WITH S. IT WAS AWFUL. I officially got put into the high risk pool. I asked when I would be seeing the peri and she said between 14 -16 weeks. So I will start seeing her much earlier than the 26 weeks that I did with S. I can stay on Ziac for now. I am to start baby aspirin. ICK. Take vitamins and folic acid. She ran a pih panel along with an OB panel. I had the best lab tech. I didn't even feel the pin prick. She was so good. I asked her what her schedule was and she actually told me. So I told her be seeing you next month! The only bummer was that the midwife asked me if this was my last. Two, what was I doing permanently?? Ok, let's get past healthy baby and mom first. I know it is my reality. It just bums me out the same. I explained I would be having a hysterectomy. That Dr H and Dr E had suggested it. That Dr H had actually said it wasn't a question that my uterus needs to come out. The question was whether I get to keep my ovaries. She ok'd the steroid shot for my knee. However, she will be discussing with Dr. E tomorrow. Take and monitor my bp once a day, but don't go crazy with it. BP was high for me at 124/88. However, not too terrible and hopefully this time I will get the 2nd trimester dip. I also got the standard answers to common questions, when to call, blah blah blah. So my next appt is 1/18. I get to have the full exam. ICK ICK ICK. They cancelled my annual exam appt on Feb 15th because that will be taken care of on the 18th. So I am off to the races. Things are ok at this point. My first appt with S and K my bp was already high like 150-160/100-105 without meds. So I will take the 124/88. Oh and I also did a urine dip/culture. BLAHHHHHH. All in all a pretty good start.

spotting, ugh

Well I was 5 weeks yesterday and my first appt is next Wednesday. Last night I started having some really light pink spotting. It could be normal or a sign of bad things to come. I think it is normal for now. I did way way too much yesterday. We held a GI party. You know, when everyone in the house pitches together to clean. I cleaned the whole upstairs. DH worked on the downstairs. He will finish the downstairs tomorrow after he takes S to daycare. A 2 year old makes it really hard to clean if you kwim.

Last night I noticed really light pink spotting. It could be implantation bleeding, me overdoing it, a lot of things. So I have been taking it really easy today and have had my feet up all day. It hasn't gotten any worse.

We are getting ready for Christmas. The girls are so excited, especially S. She is totally into the Santa thing this year. As far as telling everyone, we are thinking around Feb around Valentines day. I'll be 12 weeks Valentine week. Friends will be thrilled. Inlaws will not be. Oh well, their loss. Dh and I are actually dreading telling the inlaws. I mean, who wants to hear something that you consider wonderful and a miracle and have someone rain on your parade. I don't think we will get past hiding it past 12 weeks. I am already popping out some or maybe it's in my head. I did just win some maternity jeans and shorts off Ebay for $23. WHOO HOO. I found a bunch of stretchy knit pants. I have a lot of "big" shirts, lol. Anyway, I thought up a good response for the inlaws. Um the correct way to respond would be congratulations. However, since you seem to think that you have a right to inquire on this which you don't, the answer would be to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. We had to tell a little white lie because K is out of school this week. We don't want her to know yet. So we needed someone to watch her at that appt. So we told mil that I needed to see the endo specialist in Rochester. She knows I am not allowed to drive after those shots. So it was a good thing, ha ha ha ha.

The next step would be telling my boss. YIKES.

Update

Well I think I have taken about 20 tests and they are ALL positive. Still in shock that it worked the first time. Called the dr's office on Thursday and got a newbie at reception. She was reading off a little paper cause I requested an appt with my dr. She said oh it says according to the paper here that Dr. E doesn't see patients for first prenatals. GRRRR. You have to see the nurse practioner. She said let me get you set up with K. I said umm, no. I don't know her, can I see P.? She got off the phone for a few minutes, I presume to ask. She came back and said no problem. So I am set up for 12/26 at 2pm. I then asked will I get to see my dr after that? She said oh yeah, he just doesn't do first prenatals. Whatever. At least P knows me and knows I am high risk. She was there assisting the night I had S.

I saw the pcp today. I love her and the office. My girls love her too. S has a sinus infection and bronchitis. Wonderful. I have a sinus infection and pleursy. WHAT?? So then I told her whatever she prescribes has to be ok for pregnancy as I am 4 weeks pregnant. She said Congratulations, then she immediately asked me if I was getting a tubal after this one! I know she cares about my well being and that is why she asked. At least that is what I hope.

I told her I had been advised by both drs to dump the uterus after the baby is born. In fact, Dr H said it wasn't a question about the uterus going, but whether or not I get to keep my ovaries. OHHH, good. :< Hmmmm. She prescribed 875mg of amoxicillian 3 times a day. She wants to knock it out. She is hoping to prevent pnuemonia. Ugggh. I have the best luck don't I?

We are not planning on telling family and friends till 12 weeks at least. I have no idea how I will announce to the family. I think they will all be awful about it. I think the best response will be to take the higher road and state, the correct answer would be congratulations. Anything else said is none of your business and inappropriate. Keep it simple. Eventually they will come around, but they are not going to like this at all. However, they don't live our lives, pay our bills, and take care of our kiddos. So they don't get a voice in it. Funny how they think they get a say. My mil thinks this is ok. She doesn't say anything to sil and bil about their choices. So I need to get that changed.

I have a zillion questions for when I do finally get to see my dr.

Shhhhhh, I have a secret.....

Yes, that's right. I have a BIG secret. I took a pregnancy test today. It is only 11 dpo. I took the first one at 3 am when I had to get up to pee. It looked negative, so I put it on the counter and went back to bed. Then before I left work at 5am, I looked at the 3am test. There was a faint line. WHAT?? So, I took another one. It had a faint line within the allotted time. OMG, it worked on the first try. Who knew I was such a fertile myrtle. I really assumed that the endo had destroyed my ovaries and stuff because of the scarring that has been noted on the op reports. I came home from work. Took another test. A bit darker and definitely a line. Still faint, but you can clearly see the second line. OMG. I didn't freak out. I didn't get sick or upset. I was actually very happy and excited. Who knew the chances of it happening on the first try AGAIN.

I am going to call my dr's office tomorrow and schedule an appt. I'll have to do it on my way home from work. There are still some nurses that remember me from the last time he he. In fact, one of them told me I was crazy for ever considering this again.

I don't plan to tell anyone in real life till I am past 12 weeks. Told dh tonight and he was excited and estatic. I can't get him to keep his mouth shut. He wants to shout it from the rooftops!

Of course I have a ton of questions for my doc. I need to cancel with the endo specialist for the 28th. YEAHHHHHHHH!

And so the wait begins!

I am officially in the 2 week wait. OMG. I can't believe it. I really felt like I was going to be sick when I realized that now is the time. I used opks and got a positive and told my dh now is the time. He has mixed feelings. He doesn't want to see me get sick at all. I told him we can't live our life in fear of the unknown. All we can do is be vigilant, run the blood and urine tests, do the ultrasounds and make sure that I am watched like a hawk. My drs will do that for me. Hopefully we will know if we were successful between th 13th and 15th. Keep your fingers crossed.

Oh and pray that we get through the Hannah Montana concert. I am taking my 8 year old daughter along with 5 of her closest friends (all 8 years old) and their moms to the concert. It should be a blast!!! Dh elected to stay with S at home instead of escorting 6 8 year olds, lol.