For questions on the Low Progesterone...

I have had some emails asking me how it turned out. Caitlyn Elyse was born on Jan 16, 2009. At my 12 week appt. my doctor came out and told me he was keeping me on progesterone till I was 17 weeks. At 17 weeks, I started to wean off of it. I was off of it all by 20 weeks. At 17 weeks, I started having premature labor. I think it was because of me coming off of progestesterone. Anyway, was on bed rest for that. Then continued bed rest for pre-eclampsia. When I saw my peri at 22 weeks, she did an ultrasound for cervical length. I was 2 inches. Normal is 4. My cervix was shortening. They kept me on full time bed rest till 34 weeks when pe reared its ugly head. They wanted to deliver asap. I told them she needed a few more days to cook. At my next appt, my ob said you agree to an amnio and we deliver or else you have an emergency deliver and crash. I chose the amnio and the next day I was induced. Cait is now a healthy and very active 5 year old who loves the power rangers and minnie mouse. I wouldn't change anything I did for the world. Without progesterone supplements, she would not be here. Period.

It's been awhile

Hello Blogland, it's been awhile. Wow. I can't believe I havn't posted in soooo long. Well let's see what has been going on. I started the new job. It is awesome. I am soooo much happier there than I ever was at where I was before. I was hired to write contracts for the services team. However, back in December another person at another facility retired. So I got moved to the hospital a half mile from my house (HOORAY NO MORE COMMUTE OF 45 MILES EACH WAY). I got my own office, with a door. Very exciting. The engineers and other people there seem to be happy that I am there. So my work life is great. I am now on construction and services. Let me tell you I am SWAMPED. I run all day long at work. I am much happier now.

In October, I had to have emergency surgery. My IUD perforated. Can you believe that? The ER was less than thrilling. I came in thinking I had a kidney infection. My urine and bloodwork was ok (that doesn't really mean anything to me because I am the wierd chick that can have that normal and still have a raging infection on cat scan). The PA, I wanted to throttle her. I was severely nauseated and had horrible back pain. Worse than labor. She gave me toradol and companzine. It did nothing. Then she said she thought I had a stone. So she wanted me to drink as much as I could. Hello, did she forget the part that I was severely nauseated? Then she comes in and says you are not going to puke are you? I don't know, I present with severe nausea and YOU have me drinking water. Just throw in an iv for pete's sake. Then she says, well I guess we can do a cat scan if you really want to rule out a stone. DO IT, something is WRONG. All of a sudden I am told to stop drinking. That my cat scan came back abnormal and my iud might not be in the right place? They kept asking me questions of when was it placed? May. Did anyone check it? Yes my surgeon/specialist and my ob. It was correctly placed. They leave to look at the scan again and I end up puking. Told her I was nauseated. Then I hear them call my ob. I am immediately admitted for emergency surgery. I finally get drugs. A nice dose of dilaudid and zofran. Hated the ER staff. Loved the second floor staff. They told me dirty jokes and made me laugh. I was the youngest person on the floor. Some reason I went to the cardiac floor. Oh well, those nurses rocked. My poor ob who got called at 2am was awesome. I think he was a bit in shock it perforated too. My estimate was it had been perforated about a month. I just ignored the pain of it till I couldn't anymore. My ob said it was only the second time in 10 years of practice that he had seen one perforate. Yeah, lucky me.

Miss Cate, our miracle baby is such a joy. She is a year old now. She is cruising (can't leave anything on the end tables), babbling and talking, and a normal one year old. Hard to believe that if I had NOT have gotten that progesterone when I did, I honestly think she would not be here now. The other two girls adore her.

Miss Sara is an active 4 year old. She keeps asking when she can go to kindegarden. I tell her in September. She is soooo active. She is totally involved in dance and playing with Cate. They are best friends.

Miss Kirsten is doing well. She is all excited that next year she will be in middle school (god help me now). She is active in dance classes and all of her activities.

We are planning a family vacation to Disney in July. Oh my!

It's been so long!!!

I have been SOOOOOOOOOO busy and so sorry I have neglected my blog. So here I am for an update!

Cate - Is now 6 months old and looking like Kirsten's twin as a baby! You seriously can't tell the difference between their baby pictures at this stage. She is so beautiful and a happy baby. Totally has my personality too already. She is going through separation anxiety already! We are having some health problems with her though. The drs think she has a condition called tracheamalacia. Basically they think that her trachea is soft instead of rigid. When she breathes it collapses on itself cutting off her airway. In addition, she has reflux, huge adenoids, and asthma. They are all intermingled. We are currently seeing an ENT. She was seeing an allergy specialist, but he has now referred us to the lung center at Children's Hospital to be followed by a pulmonologist. We will be going to the OR for a scope of her nose and upper airway and adenoids. She will also have a bronchoscopy as well. The traceamalacia can be confirmed by the bronchoscopy. So I have been really busy with my sick baby. Through it all she smiles and is a trooper. We'll have more news on this on the 20th when she goes back to the ENT.

Sara - Now 4 years old and quite the character. She is growing up so fast and I can't believe next year she is starting kindegarden. God help the elementary school. She is now into mermaids. She has about 6 of them now. She is doing great!!! This year she wants to do cheerleading and gymnastics/tumbling at dance.

Kirsten - is 10 going on 21! The teenage years have started. She has gotten mouthy. Constantly talking back and having to have the last word. I have warned her now that the nintendo ds is mine the next time it happens. She wants to sleep all day and stay up all night. Ummm NO. She did very well at school and her recital. She is excited because her best friend Alyssa is in her class this year. YIKES. She is going to do cheerleading again, jazz, and tumbling.

Me - I got a new job!!!! Yep. Got hired by the VA!!! OMG it is so much better than my last job. I can't believe I stayed away for so long. We compete our contracts, the software is so much easier (what took me DAYS at my last job I can do in an hour now!!!!!), commute is shorter by 20 minutes each way, and I got a 10k payraise. I just love it. They encourage employees to go out of their way to help a veteran. I just love what I do again. The people are awesome at my new job. Love it love it love it!!!! I am so happy to be there. Seriously. The workload is so much less. I had over 200 contracts to juggle before. Now 10-15. SERIOUSLY. I have nothing but bad things to say about the Corps. I was very upset with how I left. I asked for them not to do anything (because I knew they would do it halfassed). Normally when someone leaves, there is a luncheon thrown for them, they get the rest of the afternoon off at no charge to leave, and a gift. Anyway, I went out for surgery for two weeks. While working from home because of the surgery, my boss called me and said I was not selected for the promotion in the office. WTF. I had put in for the VA so I knew I had a good chance there. Anyway, the interview was f'd up. He had himself and two people that knew NOTHING about contracting interview me. Seriously. They couldn't even qualify for the job. Quite frankly, I was insulted that such an important position was being decided that way. Who he chose was someone on the outside that they would have to TRAIN. WTF? Anyway, I interviewed for the VA two weeks later after my interview with the Corps.

So my VA interview was more like what it should have been, all contracting people on the panel. All supervisors. So I came back to work on the 26th and was hired by the VA on the 29th. Take that asshole. He was shocked to say the least as he thought I had no place to go. I don't know what he thought about that he had me locked in that hellhole. I went tdy for 2 weeks in June and started with the VA in July. I have been so happy to change. I just love it. The best thing is they are saying that I could possibly move to the hospital that is a half mile from my house in 6 mos!!!! That means no 35-40 min commute period!!!!!!!

The people are very nice and very helpful and knowlegable. Love it.

Anyway back to me leaving. They should have just done nothing. Seriously. I got a card and an $8 lunch. I didn't want a luncheon. Even when people insist on no luncheon and just an office get together, they still take up a collection from the whole agency and give a gift. My office didn't bother. Several asked me after I left if they had done one because they had missed it. I told them what happened and they were like that was so wrong. Oh and I left pics on my desk accidentally. I left at 12 noon, and I literally got them in the mail the next morning. Which means my desk was gone through IMMEDIATELY. Seriously..... Just bad feelings about that place and so glad I got out. In my new job, I have the opportunity to move up two more grades. You can only go up to a 15 in the GS system. I am already a 12. LOVE IT.

My endo is GONE since the surgery. I am very pleased with the outcome. It came out that she biopsied 6 areas. It was confirmed by pathology that endo was on my ovaries and bladder. My ob was pleased it was taken over too.

My bp has been back to normal for a few months now. My pcp says that doesn't mean you have carte blanche for more babies. I really feel one more is in my future and then I am so done. I have already asked my ob that if I did get pregnant again, could I skip the labor and just go straight for a csection hysterectomy. He said it was an excellent idea in my case, that he would be happy to do it. If I decided no more, call when I wanted the hysterectomy done.

Anyway, that's just a quick update. I'll post more later. Going on vacation tomorrow for a week!!

All that worry for nothing!

Seriously, it was the best hospital experience ever! Everyone was so kind and compassionate. Everyone on the surgery team came and introduced themselves to me including the nurses and told me what their jobs would be. The anesthesiologist rocked. He was so kind and he even came and checked on me several times afterwards to make sure I was ok! I mean seriously, I have NEVER had care like this before. Amazing. Simply amazing. This has been the easiest lap to recover from even though they did more work.

I did have some problems afterwards but they were taken care of immediately. I had some pain, they gave me a shot of toradol. HOORAY. The nurse told me the first thing they learn in nursing school is to treat the patient if they say they are in pain even if they don't look like it. WOW. These people loved their jobs. They worked great as a team together. I was watching other patients in the preop area. Sometimes it would become crowded in the area with the different members of the surgical team coming to introduce themselves. They would introduce themselves to each other as well. It was like family lol. I also had some nausea when they moved me from the stretcher to the chair. They gave me two bags of phenergan and then I was STARVING. I had trouble peeing, so I had to stay longer and they gave me more fluids to wake up my bladder. I finally went.

Anyway, my doctor found several areas of endo and removed them. She sent them for biopsy.

All is great in the world again.

Confused

Well I have my surgery scheduled. It is scheduled for 5/7. Let me tell you, this is a huge leap of faith for me. You know I am having serious pain when I have agreed to let a new dr do a surgery on me in a university hospital. I hate university hospitals. The last time I was in one was with Kirsten and I was passed from dr to dr because my dr went on vacation and didn't bother to tell me when she admitted me. I felt like a science experiment for all the residents, med students, and nursing students, cause I got to see them all. I didn't like it one bit. I hated being passed from dr to dr. Then again, I just had a terrible experience when I had Cate with a small community hospital. I have decided to make sure that I am my own patient advocate. I will never sit back and let a nurse make comments that are not right and treat me like crap as a patient.

I am encouraged by what I have seen of the big bad university hospital so far. There is a HUGE emphasis on patient satisfaction. HUGE. I had to change the date of the surgery they originally scheduled (4/30) because it was a bad date for us. The OBGYN secretary was sooooo sweet. I mean she couldn't have been nicer. When I expressed surprise and gratitude at how nice she was. She said honey we are here for the patient. We want you to have a good experience. WOW. What a difference from my home hospital. I mean you shouldn't be grateful for a nurse being nice to you. Which doesn't make sense and means the hospital is NOT doing enough to work on customer service within the hospital. I mean they advocate it on tv commercials. Their staff is NOT walking the walk. So I am feeling a tiny bit better about going to the big bad hospital. At this point, I am desparate to not have this pelvic pain anymore.

I came across an article on about.com regarding intuition as a patient. It was written by a dr and it said ALWAYS trust your intuition. If you feel you are not getting the best care possible. Listen to that little voice inside you. That's what I did this time. I can't live with having to take a narcotic to control the pelvic pain. I shouldn't have to do that. I know something can be done. I am encouraged that the specialist said she is going to cut it out.

I am very worried about several things. 1) What if the operative reports are wrong? I mean I am totally confused about my ob and why he has done certain things. My first surgery I had adhesions which he cut and took out. He didn't see lesions of endo. However, I had adhesions for no reasons. I didn't have any risk factors for them. According to the specialist, they were most likely caused by endo. My second operative report done 8 months later states that there was scarring and old endometriosis between the tubes and ovaries. Yet when I had my post op appt and after my surgery, my ob told me he didn't see anything? Maybe he didn't think much of the endo and scarring. However, that was a major change from my last report. Why didn't he just tell me what he found? Why did he say he didn't see anything? Why did he open me up only to sa yep it's there. Then he didn't do anything about it. That is not what we agreed to. My only guess is that since he is a regular obgyn, he just doesn't know what the hell he was doing. Which is why I am now seeing a specialist. She has promised me she will not leave it in. She has said it will be a very extensive surgery unlike before. That scares the pants off me too. What if it is worse than he said because he didn't know what he was looking at? What if I end up losing a tube or an ovary or it gets converted to a laparotomy? I have some of these questions for the surgeon.

2) Of course I am terrified of terrible nursing care again. I plan to discuss this with the specialist at the preop appt so that I know what she is prescribing for me and what to expect at this hospital.

3) This doesn't have to do with the surgery coming up but the one I had with the miscarriage. The reports do not make sense. My ob had on the operative report blighted ovum/intrauterine fetal demise at 13 weeks. WTF. That is like an oxymoron. You can't have both. This baby was certainly not a blighted ovum when it measured 13 weeks and was a fully formed baby on the US screen. Which led to me going and looking at the pathology reports. I expected the path reports to say that there was a baby of whatever gestational age. That's not what it said. It said basically it received placenta, uterine lining, amniotic bag. HUH. Then I had a couple of drs review the records and discovered he missed the baby. How could he miss the baby? That is why I had such horrible pain for 2 days and bled so heavily. That clot that I thought I passed that I had to push out was really the baby all messed up from the D&C. I can't be mad about that he missed. It's a known complication of the d&c. Dammit, I am mad that he didn't tell me. My ob HAD to have known. I mean when you expect to pull out a dead 13 week fetus and you just get some tissue, wouldn't something click? When you see the path report telling you what was found wouldn't you think? When I describe passing an enormous clot bigger than my fist and that there was a lot of blood and pain, wouldn't you think maybe you missed? What about an US report from the ER that says there is a 10x6cm structure still in the uterus, wouldn't you think hey I missed? He told the ER dr no way that he missed. He was positive he got it all. The ER dr did not question him. I was told by the drs that reviewed the chart (these were a friend/acquaintances), that I should NEVER have been allowed to go home from the ER with a mass that large in my uterus. It wasn't like my ob didn't do USs in his office. He did two. One at 8 weeks and one at 12 weeks. He should have documented the heartbeat in my chart. Wouldn't that cross your mind that this was not a blighted ovum and you are missing something.

So I am confused. Honestly, he took excellent care of me with Sara and Cate. Couldn't have asked for anything different. Gave me everything I asked for. The endo thing, most obgyns can and do not know how to treat. I am referred for a specialist to handle that now. I am terribly bothered that he did not tell me about the d&c botch after the miscarriage. I wondered when I had the first US with him with Cate WHY he took over 20 minutes to US her. Before it was yep, baby is in the uterus, there is the heartbeat. Baby is moving. Done. He took over 20 minutes at that first appt to check her out. I worried terribly something was wrong. It was because of the D&C I think. I have honestly thought about changing drs because of the two surgeries. However, I don't like the other two obgyns in town. To go out of town would mean at least 45 minutes each way for appts. That sucked when I was pregnant with Cate and Sara going to the peri each week.

I have wanted to discuss what happened with my ob. I don't know how to approach it. Because honestly it is impacting my trust of him. I mean I feel like if I have any tests done, I need to get a copy of it. Because what if he is not telling me something, kwim? I can get copies of tests through my pcp. I know with pregnancy, my peri wants copied on the tests and she gives me the actual numbers. So I either get it verbally from her or I take a copy from my pcp or ob.

I honestly believe the er dr covered for my ob thinking I would never find out that he missed. I mean you shouldn't tell a patient your uterus is filled with old blood, debris, and clots. When the US report said there is a 10x6 cm structure in the uterus. Big difference. Both of them should have been honest with me.

I think that is why I didn't bother calling my ob with what the specialist said. He was pissed I had gone behind his back and gotten the referral through my pcp. I refuse to deal with HIS billing clerk cause quite frankly she is a real bitch. I can't beleive she gets away with treating patients the way she does with her rude attitude. Fortunately, I don't have to deal with her very often. Maybe 4-5 times in almost 5 years. Then when he realized I was serious, he wanted to know what the specialist said? I just let him read the report which said that we discussed medical therapy (I failed it), lupron (not doing it ever), hysterectomy (She put in the report that I was unsure of ending childbearing, which is true. I want one more!), and conservative laparoscopy. I chose the lap with her promise that she would cut it all out. My ob probably died when he read I still wanted another. lol.


So I am torn. It's really easy to say dump the doc. However, they are in short supply. I don't want to travel hours to see one. Honestly, my biggest issue is telling me exactly what my reports say. I am terribly bothered he wasn't honest with me with two of the surgeries. I would like to address this with him to clear this up in the future (hopefully there will be no more surgeries except my hysterectomy when I am done with babies). How can I know he will be honest with me on anything else? I would like to get this resolved but don't know how to approach him about it. Other than that he is a good doc. How do I know I won't get the same elsewhere?

Ramblings

So in a month, I go back to work fulltime. Tomorrow I have to go in to get my laptop and sign an affadavit for a contract I was involved with. Of course, I was threatened with my life to bring Cate in. I so don't wanna go back. I love being a full time mom.

I see Cate and I just can't believe she is already almost 3 months old. How the heck did that happen? I just love her so much. I love totally love all my girls. I would LOVE to have another baby even with the medical risks. Dh is on board one minute. Then the next he is like where's the dr's number for the V. I think I can get him to have another. I would have to do a lot of things first.

First, he wants a mancave in a new house. Well we are working on that. The one house we bid on was sold to a relocation company. They won't accept an offer with a contigency on it. Out that goes. Then we decided we really need something over 2000 sqft. Our house is now up on the market. Every day we are doing something to continue to ready it for sale. Our first open house is on 4/19. I bought a St. Joseph statue to bury in the yard. Hey I'll take whatever I can.

Second, we will be hiring a maid. I have a number for one. I don't want to hire them till we move.

Third, Cate has to get a bit bigger and past the new baby stage. :)

Other than that, things are good.

What I have Been Up To...

Job Front - I applied for a promotion in my office. I don't know if I made the list. I should have. I don't know if the new boss will hire me for it. We'll see. In the meantime, another position, a promotion, has opened up. I am applying to do that too. I would much rather go work for the other agency than my current one. I am dreading going back to work.

Housing - We put an offer in on a house yesterday. The mortgage process is SO much easier this time now that we are not so broke. When we bought our current house, we were scraping money together for home inspections, etc. SO BROKE THEN. Now, different story. Our mortgage guy was impressed. He did our first mortgage. He was like no problemo. We bid on a 4 bedroom 2 1/2 bath cape cod. We really like it. We have decided that Cate and Sara will share the huge bedroom. Then Kirsten can choose which of the other two bedrooms she wants. Then the 3rd will be a guest bedroom (future nursery :)) and then we will have the master suite downstairs. There is a finished basement with an office and family room. Then huge first floor with a 3 season room. Can't wait to see if we get it. Latest we would move is July because we have 60 days to sell ours. So pray our house sells and we can come to an agreement on price with this house.

Medical - I did hear back from the nurse manager via a letter. She apologized and said that she had addressed my concerns and had recommendations done. The one thing that bothered me about the letter was that she apologized for "not meeting my standard of care". Hell they didn't even meet THEIR OWN standard of care. It infuriates me that they thought it was ok at the time. You have a patient having a visible allergic reaction to a med and you say so what? You have a labor nurse undermining an ob and perinatologist's diagnosis and recommendations and that is meeting my standard of care? Not too mention the same nurse flat out LIED in my records saying that when I was shivering during transition, she gave me warm blankets and turned up the heat. What actually happened was she said ugggh hormones when my dh asked why I was shivering. Then she walked out of the room. Only to have another nurse come in, check the warmer, say she was hot and turn down the heat. It made me so angry that I had meds that were ordered for me and I was told I didn't have them ordered because I didn't have stitches. ACK. Oh well. If I have another kid, I will make sure I run what my ob has ordered for me by me. I may even ask to see my chart.

One of my worse fears has come true. My endo is already back at 8 weeks pp. How the hell did that happen? I religiously took the loestrin and prometrium. Same time every day. Yet it came back immediately. Why? Well apparently, no one knew that fiorinal can cause interference with the pill. So the maximum doses of fiorinal I was taking for my headaches, basically negated any benefits that I was getting from the pill. Last week, I was doubled over with back and lower right stomach pain. I thought my kidney stone was back. So I saw my pcp. She said I could do outpatient and not get pain relief or I could go to the ER, get everything taken care of (BW, cat scan, pain relief). I chose the ER but ONLY if she called to tell them I wasn't a faker because last time for the kidney stone, I got NO pain relief because I didn't appear to be in enough pain. Anyway, she called and talked with the dr. Who happened to be the dr that first diagnosed me with endo and talked me into a lap. 3 years later she remembered me! I sent her a really nice thank you card because she believed me and convinced me to have the surgery. She still has the card. So it was hard for her to tell me it was back. The stone is gone. Which they think I passed it when I was in the ER last in November. The time I didn't appear to be in enough pain to warrant anything. ASSHOLE. Anyway, she said it was back. It was documented in my medical records. I had to see my pcp and my ob. My pcp does the pain management. She ordered oral toradol and lortab. She also got me an out of network referral to the pelvic pain clinic. I am going to get a lap done to cut it out as my ob LEFT it last time in. My specialist appt is on 4/1. Then I think I am going to have a mirena IUD put in and see if that helps. That can't be affected by oral drugs. I see my ob on Thursday. I cried after coming home from the ER because it was back so soon. The er dr said at least I could still get pregnant. They told me to get pregnant again immediately. UGGGGGGHHHHHHH. I did do a press ganey survey on that kidney stone issue and the mass in the uterus last week when I got an ER one in the mail.

Cate is beautiful. Her eyes are turning a clear blue. I may have a blue eyed child this time. She is 8lbs 10ozs. She seems to be in between Kirsten and Sara in temperament and personality. She is adorable.